nOthIng iS defiNite tO mE..

2010-11-14T21:44:00.002+08:00

gosh.. i nearly forgot how to log into this acct.. tot that i shd give some updates aft joy mentioned abt blogs ydae...

haven't been feeling good for the past week.. the contradiction between last weeks' mood and this weeks is really very big.. i really enjoyed myself during the chalet...

and once again.. something fatal/similar to the incident back in 2007 happened again.. thank you for the reply tho i noe you will never get to see this(or rather i hope that you wun see this).. but still i guess it affected me some sort.. been in daze lately and i find it hard to laff at something again.. despite carrying out a brave front.. deep down i guess i was still qt scared.. that i dun even dare to look at you for some time..

yes i noe.. its all 自找的.. actually deep down..since very long ago.. i knew its not possible.. if its possible.. it would have happened long ago.. but still.. that 'optimissitic' me have nv given up hope.. seriously i would have gotten deeper with all those times spent tgt..some of them were really qt nice.. tho i noe u din feel anything.. that feeling is jus not right..

maybe my definition of how a r/s shd start is totally wrong.. i guess i jus don't have that x-factor to attract any attention from anyone.. oh wells.. im prepared to walk this journey of life alone... perhaps that is what has been set for my life..

2010-08-24T22:52:00.003+08:00

just when i was all happy with the things that happen over the weekends.. my heart sank when i heard about it..

i was scared.. scared that i may find out that you are attached somehow..

i guess once again i've thought too much.. we haven't even went out 1-1 before..

and perhaps i'm jus another acquaintance with u...

it was one of the worst dinner i had.. to act indifferent and joke abt the topic while eating normally..

and once again.. i found myself in the situation that i was very familiar with..

i shd nv ever believe that anyone will ever take a good look at me.. i was too foolish to believe that miracles can happen one day.. one day tt never exists.

blog

2010-08-03T11:19:00.001+08:00

游览了许多以前的blog。。似乎大家（包括我在内）都不在更新网站了。。是大家都在忙吗？还是大家都长大了。。许多事都不想写下来了呢？有时也还真的怀念以前阅读许多人的网站。。没错。。我是真的喜欢spy人。。

2010-08-02T21:45:00.003+08:00

那天
你告诉我好久都没那么开心了
那一瞬间我感到非常的诧异
因为我不知道要如何回复你才好
所以我只是轻轻地带过
说也许是你要出国了吧

但我其实是忘了告诉你
不知怎么地
我也玩得非常地开心
仿佛上周的泪水及愤怒都突然之间消失了
也仿佛回到了当初无忧无虑没有任何包袱的生活

回想起来
以前从来都没人告诉我他玩得非常开心
原来能够跟人分享快乐是那么地幸福的

虽然这只是碰巧我坐在你隔壁罢了
但我要谢谢你让我知道我是让你快乐地一部分(就算那只是一小部分而已)
我也要谢谢你带给我的那些欢笑
更要谢谢你能让我体会到分享别人快乐的喜悦

2010-07-18T22:32:00.003+08:00

one moment they talk about loving the Earth

next the plants are withering on the display

what an irony

2010-07-18T01:35:00.003+08:00

也许
有些美好的事是不会发生在我身上的

所以
是时候把自己打醒吧

不是每个人的命都是一样的

因此
还是少活在那种天真的想法了

这世界并没那么地美好
就算是美好的
也只是对一些人而已

2010-07-14T22:16:00.002+08:00

孤单
是迟早都会感受到的.
只是还没习惯罢了.

久了
这一切也并不重要了.
也没有人会去在意了.

当每个人把生活的重心改放在不同的地方时.
应该也是时候把心思放在别的地方了.

也许这就是成长的一部分吧!

2010-05-09T23:59:00.001+08:00

person A: but anyway maybe thats just the type of boy i like haha

i guess i also like a type of boys.. which they will never like me back..

this post is just so random

2010-02-08T22:43:00.002+08:00

finally oh finally i feel that i'm having some break and time for myself... but i guess this is just for tonight only... for the first time i felt the relaxed moment where i can go hm the time i like.. go for a run in the park.. laze around at the sofa chatting with mom, playing my iphone and watching tv while having chilled beer... and of course.. without the worries of going to work tomorrow... perfect

anyway today marks the first time i interact with a customer on my own... of course, not about the technical side since im not a pro at it.. but still building up relations with them... initially i was quite worried that there are moments of awkward silence.. but seems like it was quite interesting to talk to them.. especially when u ask them abt their country and the culture there.. and you introduce the things.. while talking to him.. it really makes me realise the good of Singapore.. not to do any national education here.. but still.. the client was very happy to be in Singapore everytime during his business trip..when asked abt the transport..to him.. it was terrific because it is working.. hahha what an interesting comment yet true.. i guess the reliability of our transport is better than theirs somehow... communication in singapore is so good.. tho we are not tt effectively billingual.. at least we serve as a bridge between the chinese speaking and the english speaking.. which saves up lots of time for the whole process... when i ask him abt the service in singapore.. n tt alot of pple complains abt the poor quality of service in singapore.. his reply was these pple definitely has not seen the service in other countries... all these im super agreeable to him... sometimes singaporeans do complain alittle too much.. shdn't we be thankful of what we have already?

on a random note... today while queueing for koi.. there is this 2 hwachong gers infront of me... and for those koi drinkers.. u will noe they call out ur number when its ur turn.. so the guy shouted 323 in mandarin... 2-3 times.. i dun remember.. but he was jus right infront of her... after sometimes she realises that its her number.. so she took her drink.. turn to towards the exit and mumbled to her fren that... SHE DON"T UNDERSTAND MANDARIN!from her look she seems to be expecting the person to call out the number in english(but tt is nt typical koi cos they are into the taiwan style)ok my language is not terrific...but as a snr from hc... and being a chinese... at least you shd understand that little bit of chinese right? im sure you've been through primary school chinese classes which teaches you numbers... i dun think u can get into HC if u flunk chinese in primary n secondary school... as a chinese i think u shd be ashamed that you cannot speak it well... so instead of feeling so upright that everything has to be english.. at least u shd understand the basic chinese... no wonder the chinese in china is always laughing at our mandarin...

and on a random note.. 933 is playing 安静 now.. oh man... super retro song... from sec 3 i guess....

2010-02-03T23:05:00.002+08:00

and so.. at the age of 89, she's decided to go for the operation for her leg.. for the first time, she has made her own decision so swiftly without getting any consent from her children. Perhaps she's got nothing to lose..and perhaps she was hoping more towards leaving this world(hoping that things will just go wrong this time).. i'm not very sure.

time and time again.. everytime after a fall,no matter how bad it is..she worked hard to recover..just to see the few of us grow up..get a job and even get a husband/wife or bf/gf...while those whom she knew long ago has became part of her memory...I'm always impressed by her... by her strong will to live despite these ill treatment from some people? Seriously, who will allow an old woman of 89 who cannot even walk properly to bend down and wash her own clothes? who will argue with an old woman of 89? seriously even if u see any random old lady of such age walking along the street you'll worry for her..how can these pple do such things to her?

there's so much that i want to do yet there so little that i can with my pathetic pay and time... all i can do is to watch what they are doing to her and what they are forcing her to do.. what a useless person i am.. even nurses are saying that she's very well liked in the ward... why can't they just do what children are supposed to do for their parents? she has dedicated her life for you.. why can't you just spare her a little corner in that house?

sometimes life is disappointing.. why is it so tt not all good people will have good end? no ma tter how.. Grandma please be strong and recover well from this operation.. I love you Grandma..

2010-02-03T22:58:00.002+08:00

遇见

听见冬天的离开我在某年某月醒过来
我想我等我期待未来却不能因此安排
阴天傍晚车窗外未来有一个人在等待
向左向右向前看爱要拐几个弯才来

我遇见谁会有怎样的对白
我等的人他在多远的未来
我听见风来自地铁和人海
我排著队拿著爱的号码牌

我往前飞飞过一片时间海
我们也曾在爱情里受伤害
我看著路梦的入口有点窄
我遇见你是最美丽的意外
总有一天我的谜底会解开

a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics describing some sort of the feelings that i'm feeling right now.. on the not so emo side.. i think i misses yanzi's voice.. after so long.. and that little memory back in JC time again..

2010-01-24T23:20:00.002+08:00

i know i shouldn't be blogging right now.. cos its monday tomorrow again.. having sales meeting once again.. sigh.. presenting the shitty sales result i have due to this economic downturn is really not what i like.. now i seem to undertstand myself in work slightly better.. if i wanna present.. i will wan to present the best tt i can achieve.. instead of these sloppy results... 2 more days marks the 3rd month of me starting my job as a sales engineer... 3 months yet somehow many pple ard me including myself feels that i've been here for half a year already... to many of those who asked me hows work for me... i noe my ans is usually disappointing... but since im good at describing things verbally..(irony is that im in sales).. let me type in my thoughts here...

i always believe that every single thing will have its good and its bad side... sometimes pple feel that what they do is bad.. because wat i feel is that they've ignored the good side... for my case.. of cos there is good n bad too...

let me start with the bad... of cos the pay is low.. with little benefits.. then its the sales portion.. being unable to bring in certain numbers makes me feel abit useless... not able to master the technical part of this shipping industry is also kind of demoralising for me... for me.. i hate to do something without understanding it... tho pple tell you to just follow.. but somehow there's no motivation.. it seems like you are jus a robot that carries out the programme that is set in you... it really makes me wonder when will the day arrive that i can manipulate my knowledge in this industry to come out with better ideas.. rather than following one way.. (something which i discovered abt myself aft i enter work.. i have a tendency to rebel than to listen)... n lastly.. its the trait of an SME... which is tons n tons of work tat is piling up for u.. u've been working very very hard.. but still.. these things just accumulate and grow by themselves.. (no wonder they say work can never be finished).. and sometimes.. you may feel kind of unjustified... why do these other pple seem to do lesser things than you yet you all are in the same post? and why do these pple do not get any scolding even if they choose to ignore?

k then to the good side of my job... seriously.. im glad that i've chosen my current company as compared to the other that i was considering abt... that particular step which i took.. i was proud of my decision... im happy with what im going now... i never thought that meeting customers is interesting.. or i can go out to meet clients... but somehow.. i qt enjoyed my first trip meeting the clients... it is the on-the-spot reaction that makes eveything challenging... how to win them over..how to let them trust you.. how to nego with them.. all these is really a test to your skills and if you are able to win it.. tt means your strategy is right... i guess i enjoy these kind of satisfaction... then.. besides doing sales.. im happy that my boss gave me the chance to think abt how to mkt our pdt to another mkt... revisiting the marketing text.. brainstorming how i can apply these ideas to the current situation is really another thing which makes me enjoy what im doin now.. and lastly... what makes me like this job is that i felt that my opinions are valued... in the sense that i can take charge of certain decision making and they take in my suggestions unlike those typical conventional boss who never listen to their employee... i guess im kind of lucky to have landed myself with these bosses because im one who likes to voice out my idea...

k end of these ramblings... i shd have gone to bed 1 hr b4... guess i will become a zombie again tml... tons of wk to clear too... sigh....

anw.. on a random note.. revisited the old class blog ydae... it has been dead since my last post in 08... pictures and everything was gone.. even image station has closed down... looking at the posts we put up that time... we sound really innocent ..guess everyone has evolved one way or another.. to the better or bad... pursuing different paths and different idealogies... im really glad.. that we have a chance to have these common memories together... i guess aft these years.. jc is still one of my memorable times i had back then... even when im old.. i think i will still recall the good old times back then... 2010... its already 7 years.. since i was wearing that dunman high uniform.. attending the orientation camp in hc... 7 years......is really not a short time.. n i guess i shd not always look back too much.. in case i forget the future...

2010-01-13T23:29:00.002+08:00

it really took me awhile to realise that jc was freaking 7 years ago.. when we were wearing that brownish yellow uniform with our ankle socks... listening to jay chou's songs.. and checking out friend's blog for updates... sad to say most blogs are outdated for at least a year(mayb i'll turn out to be one soon) while some were actually deleted.. and so many things have changed.. oh my.. sometimes i really wonder why i really miss jc tt much.. seriously its much more than uni and sec sch... somehow

2010-01-10T22:02:00.003+08:00

Hello 2010! yes the new year is here..so its time for some updates.. i usually like to go thru what i did for the past year during these kind of season.. and so.. regardless if anyone is reading this... here goes...

2009.. is indeed a very different year i guess... the year which i questioned myself abt my own capabilities.. the year which i really started to think deeply what i shd do nex and how i shd pave my career pathway... somehow i had a little conclusion of my own.. i hope that will work out somehow.. hehz

so the first half of 2009...got to know a bunch of new frens i can say.. moving out of the usual group in the first 2 years... i guess the two main modules are like design and my fyp... nothing much abt fyp.. i guess the second half of the year seems to be smoother as compared to the initial startup of the project back in 2008... design was fun.. when the two grps merge.. our grp tanya, hp, rhoda and of cos me.. merge with aw, charlotte, janice, marcus... and we also recruitted ml inside... the whole process was fun i say.. tho sometimes there can be small little arguements ard.. but tts for the good of the whole grp i guess... sometimes i really think tt certtain things are sort of arranged in a nice manner.. some pple whom u tot are not as nice to work with.. i was given the chance to noe them better by working with them.. its a good thing isn't it?

memories began to fade but seriously i cannot think of much significant things happened tt time.. perhaps its the badminton and nuaing sessions aft our project that were more enjoyable i guess...

then.. it was much travelling after the sem.. the short getaway with the design peeps to bintan... the beach was nothin fantastic.. bt what left me a deep impression is the night when we jus sat down by the pool.. gazing at the stars... the stars are really wonderful... which makes me think.. what i see everyday is actually this.. the light pollution in sg is really terrible seriously.. n of cos.. i saw my first shooting star... tt nite.. at the span of 3 hr... i managed to catch 7 shooting stars.. to the more observant pple like aw and dada.. think they've caught 14 or more... and of cos.. i made my wish... and one of them actually materialise.. but to the others.. hahaz.. somehow did not happen... i guess one can't be too greedy at times..

then it was our long awaited trip to aussie.. with kuan... seriously.. i nv thought tt this will ever materialise.. somehow trips discussed with frens do not materialise... it was a meaningful trip.. back then in 2002 we were telling ster tt we will visit her one day.. it seems like a childhood promise came true.. hahaz.. and so.. with some planing of the agenda.. and not much traveling awareness.. and social awareness... we set off for aussie.. despite our worrying parents due to the H1N1 outbreak in the world... so from sydney to goldcoast to brisbane to hervey bay to agnes water.. we started our trip for 18 days... tt was really the first time im away from hm in a foreign land.. the experience was great! especially to someone like me who does very little travelling.. the near subzero temperatures at blue mountains(i nv tot i will so hate the cold).. the winter wear.. the short day times.. the nice lake mckenzie at fraser island.. all these are interesting to a tropical child like me.. but sadly some of the times our mood were dampened by the few rainy days... especially when u spent qt a lot of money for the day trips n u ended up doing nothing... we'll go there again.. but tt will be in spring.. when kuan will be more active and us.. being less engrossed in keeping ourselves warm and moisturised.. =) and also.. it was due to this trip.. tt i got to know someone slightly better and i was grateful for all his help.. recommending places to go to.. the cheaper place.. and even digging out all his brochure, itinerary, maps from all the different places and pass it to me...it was really very nice of him to be so thoughtful to somebody whom he doesnt even noe well...

then.. back to sg.. it was the convo nite.. for one more time.. i felt the some kind of feel back in jc prom.. haha.. my grp of frens gathered at dada's place and we started with all the make-up and hairstyling... it was fun... nv tot tt these kind of experience will be back again... but the ball itself was nothing much.. boring i can say... jus phototaking ard.. n perhaps it was my heels tt are killing me.. which kill tt little bit of hype in me...

then its convocation... yes.. the day has finally reached... somehow.. wearing tt gown.. makes me a little stressed up that i walked the wrong way.. behind of that person aft receivin my cert instead of in front of tt person... my sincere thanks to tyy n mich who came down for me and of cos yiling whom could have left earlier after her bf's convo stayed jus to take a photo with me... n my parents.. not sure whether they are proud of me.. but im proud of them..hehz... for surviving and taking care of me until the very last phase of my education.. its time for me to repay everything to them from now on.... and of cos.. took a photo with somebody whom i had always wanted to esp during convo ball but somehow missed tt chance... tt feeling was qt happy for me.. reminds me of tt photo taking experience with somebody during prom in hc... hhaha..

then it was my sis's ROM...nv ever tot tt this guy will be my cousin in law... not tt he is a bad guy.. jus tt the tot of somebody so close to me getting married feels weird... but im definitely happy for her!! she is so pretty that day... and best is he's a nice guy... at least someone who is nice to old pple... this is very impt to me now.. aft i see how some pple treat my grandma...

and.. one of my bestest fren... one of those tt actually wondered if she will get a bf back in hc days... had ROM! it was a river cruise down the singapore river and undeniably.. she looks so happy and loved the whole day.. im really happy for her.. tt she found someone depend on... nearly cried when she signed the cert.. somehow or rather.. =)

then.. another of my bestie is attached... yes... aft so many years.. aft so many pple asked her why she is still not attached... she is attached... but she is one big sticky person tt i've met.. who says tt 1 year can only meet 4 times.. lucky i did not trust her at all.. hahaz

and.. towards the later half of the year.. it was qt a big struggle for me despite someof the happy things happen like the wedding of my sis n my fren(i used the term my fren cos we are not supposed to reveal her rom to anyone)... it was the tiring journey of job searching.... im not fussy at all.. the only thing tt i will not go for is a job as a financial planner... aft 10 interviews... 2-3 second round.. i was rejected all until the 10th one... seriously i got it because i think competition is low for this programme.. pple hate bonds.. which i wonder why... cos i always think 1 year is still too less to achieve a goal.. to value urself and prepare urself better for ur nex job... especially when matters of heart is always a zero for me... i will try to bluff myself tt my career will be a good one.. somehow things shd balance up one way or another... but still rejections n rejections.. time n time again.. i really cried.. cos there's nothing i can take control of besides preparing hard for the interview n apply for the jobs deligently.. sat newspapers are a mus cos of the wide range of jobs available in the recruit section... then aft much struggle...

aft much struggle.. i was offered 2 jobs at the same time neither of them related to my field of study sadly..analysing different factors and everything.. finally i chose something which i tot present better opportunities for me in terms of future job progression.. somehow.. i guess im right.. in a way.. despite i still have to do the boring things like churning out proposals n price setting..im given the chance to come out a marketing strategy for the various plans for the year... thinking back.. they really gave me what i said im interested to do during my interview... but somehow.. the irony is tt the person who interviewed me.. made me chose this company in a way.. left a few days ago... shall see how will the situation turn out to be...especially aft goin to the orientation course for the graduates in this course.. i can say im happy to stay here now... good bosses.. good exposure.. freedom to do the things i like..guess the only push factor will be low pay or employee benefits.. or.. i miss chem eng too much... but still i will stay to at least achieve tt goal which i had set for myself.. putting me in better position to progress further in the working world... my second career is a blank for me now... totally...

2009.. thinkin back.. is a year full of ups and downs... but im glad tt ive got to know more pple better.. like the vball snrs .. some are really nice pple to tok to and learn things from them... they are really helpful to u... n i've also felt tt little change in me... somehow i guess i've become slightly more extroverted... duno if this is forced out of me or the hc me is back... i dun deny tt the uni me seem to be more introverted somehow.. i guess i was abit tired aft everything in hc...

2010.. looking forward.. seriously i only see myself working n nothing else... forget abt getting a boyfren.. i guess its bleak for me now(n auntie gang pls stop sayin u all wanna intro this cambridge guy to me.. im totally not interested..).. yea so its work.. n attending pple's wedding n vball.... shall i aim for a driver's license too? give me 2 more mth.. when im more bored with wat im doing currently....

and... 2 of my darlings are leaving singapore... one is aining who is going to shanghai for work as an expat.. nv expected someone of our age to relocated so soon... the other is clarice who will be away from singapore for 18 mth...aft all her hard work.. she deserves this programme... hope tt everything will be good for her... thinking back.. i will seriously miss them n i shall buy a video cam and mic soon!

all n all.. hope tt 2010 will be a good year and shall prepare for work tml.. zzz another 5 days week...sighz...

2009-10-16T00:07:00.006+08:00

had a revamp with my blog! hahhaa... tho the previous picture is nice with the beach and everything.. somehow tt person did not update or do anything to her photobucket and so it was removed... and tada! the new photo background... i did not search it through yahoo or google ok.. it was taken by me! haha.. wat a emo pic.. it was taken at sydney.. coogee beach.. yeaps.. was thikning shd i take this or some of the pics for bintan.. n of cos this won the game.. was playing ard with the format and colour.. and the whole thing seems fine on mozilla.. but somehow the fonts disappeared if i open up with explorer... oh wells.. im not gonna change it.. hahhaa since i took some time off to do the revamp(tho i nv even do webpage design b4).. so im sorry to those who can't read the posts(then i realise those who cannot read posts won't read this too haha)...

had dinner with guan... nice catching with her.. glad tt aft such a long time tt we meet up we still had something to tok abt.. hahaz.. esp the talks abt our grad trips.. all the misfortunes tt happen to us.. thinking back.. it was really qt an interesting experience... then she wanted to go bkk too.. so i started to tok abt my trip with the randoms one year ago... it was really one of my most enjoyable trip cos of the company and everything.. wells.. abit sad to know tt this clique will feel awkward again if we were to meet out(which is why i nv really organise anything) .. tho all of us forsee this.. but still.. felt tt it was abit sad some way.. oh wells.. but other than tt.. the chat with guan is nice!! definitely will find some time to have dinner with her again aft i start work since our workplaces are so near each other...

the first day of work has been postponed one week later... amazingly everything seems to really fall nicely into place.. like aft tt week with gov ware.. then the other week was interviews(which allows me to have a good time thinking which of the options i wan).. to this week's of intensive tuition since my tuitee is having her exams.. and then nex week.. when i have more time of my own to pacl(hopefully), read and recharge myself... now i understand why things were arranged so to me.. think i shd be really thankful for tt...

and.. somebody.. either or not intentionally.. has been MIA-ing for qt some time... i really wan to help.. but i noe i can't do much.. only two things can help him.. tt person he likes opens up to him or accept him.. or he get a job tt he likes... i can't comment too much cos i noe the process of jobseeking is not easy.. in the sense tt it kind of changed me in one way or another.. the morale was really low but theres nothing tt i can do to make the situation better... seriously i think i would have gone into depression if i hasn't got any job now... so im really thankful for tt.. tho the pay is not tt wonderful.....

2009-10-13T22:39:00.006+08:00

today is a very special day.. it marks the start of another phase in my life.. the working life..

At hm
waking up at 7.. it really feels like im going back to ntu for a 0930 lesson.. similarly.. i was late.. slightly late as usual.. breakfast with a cup of coffee and channel newsasia.. totally reminds me of the time back then.. when i dreaded going back to sch..

On train
for 0930 lessons i usually hated the train ride from tp to raffles place.. packed to the glass doors.. everyone packed like sardines with zero identity.. novena was usually the stop which most pple get off.. while dhoby ghaut is usually the one with more pple getting up.. those white collars who are working in the CBD area..
the ride from raffles place to boonlay is usually a better one with less people for 0930 lessons(it will be always packed if im going for 0830 lessons cos of the working crowd going to jurong area).. took my fav window standing area.. taking notice of each and everything outside(yes i love train rides especially when it is not underground..).. i like to look at the pple on the train.. esp wat they wear n such... n whenever i see young pple.. i will start to have a small game with myself.. guessing where are they frm.. sp?nus?ntu? of cos.. there were times when i was so tired tt i totally knock off on the train.. and of cos.. the times when i was focusing hard on the notes... so many memories on jus a simple train ride from my hse to ntu.. somehow.. 4 yrs is really something...

On cab
as usual i was late.. since this time was to sign a contract instead of going to lecture.. i guess i better not risk.. and there is no busstop tt are near CAO.. so i decided to take a cab... i noe ive been wasting money but it jus feel abit too far for walking...

At NTU
taking my contract.. was surprised n glad to know tt actually this programme tt im in comes with 5 sponsored workshops relating to management or strategic planning.. so theres something tt make up to tt low pay without CPF.. still taking my time to read up n see which workshops i prefer to go.. so many n so interesting! haha.. i think i sound like a mugger now...
so.. the time for me to sign tt contract has come... now i understand wat isaac mean when we were doing events.. everything seems so unreal... as if u are still in a dream.. i was still a student a few mths back.. now im going to be part of the working world.. perhaps part of the faceless sardines tt i saw on train...

i was early for meetin clar at buona vista for lunch.. and so aft making sure tt the wireless still works for my acct(thanks ntu for letting the alumni me to use ur network.. hahah).. decided to nua in sch for an hr first... the long aircon walk at N2 or N3 was super nostalgic.. cos tt was the way to and fro from hall 2 to my sch... the rainy days.. the days i panic when i was rushing for papers.. the days when i was demoralised aft certain exam papers.. the days when i was super tired aft long hrs of proj work.. tt poster whcih i saw for these few years(meaning it hasnt changed over the 4 years too hahaz).. the names of the profs on the doors.. all has become memories...

then it was mac.. missing those cheaper rates in sch... the rates outside is really bad... gotten icemilo and hashbrown and found myself a seat at the old can a since there are less pple.. the long queues for the diff stalls... the take aways we had due to the lack of time.. the waiting for more seats to come.. the heated discussions on some of the tables.. the nites of muggings with clar when i bunk at sis's place.. oh manz...

and so aft 1 hr of nuaing.. set off for lunch with clar.. sharing my good news with her.. n aft hearing her incident abt her interview.. haha.. seriously i think she is damn suey.. but i hope she'll make it thru! then she can tell tt someone wats useful abt BTI le.. hahhahaa...

oh wells.. shall end the post here.. nex monday gonna be my first day of work.. good luck to me.. hope everything goes one smoothly n good.. frenly n nice colleagues i hope!

2009-10-11T16:13:00.004+08:00

the past week has been quite busy.. and finally i can announce a stop to my job-searching process... got a job finally.. after much consideration between two offers.. it was not a easy decision.. but all thanks to those long bus rides that i can clear my mind n think it through.. i hope i really made the correct decision.. oh wells.. this will only be known when i really start my work... but im really thankful tt the time has come finally.. so its now planning of wat i wanna do for the last week b4 job starts... the longggg vacation has ended.. finally...

the weekends has been qt busy.. or rather not those rushing kind of busy but meeting up with qt a few good frens and doing the fav sports at my fav place..

fri was the celebration of tanya's bdae.. was qt a quiet celebration with the bdae ger of cos, ml hp dada aw.. guess the some are qt tired with their work so there were some weird silences in between the sessions... but other than tt it was fun! its been nice to catch up with frens.. know wats happening to their world...its really qt scary how time has passed.. some of them have actually worked for 3 mth already.. n it was 5 mths ago since we were struggling hard with our design project at that room... aft makaning at kim gary in vivo.. we went over to swensons for the ice cream cake(cos tanya dun like normal cake).. n trust me.. the service there was damn cui... really.. many pple but all acting busy... doing duno-wat-things.. so here goes the pictures...

the bdae ger

ml huay

tanya aw dada

the whole grp at swensons

aft tt i proposed going to keppel island to the grp.. hahha.. n surprisingly they were ok with the random plan.. haha.. but ml n huay was tired n sick so they went hm first... keppel island.. been there once b4 so this time round wasn't much of a surprise anymore... and so we went to a corner and sat down to tok again.. until abt 1am.. missed tt nuaing feeling.. jus sitting down n update each other... so here goes the fotos

aft tt took a night rider back hm with tanya... somehow felt tt she was really pressurised sianed by the things she have to do.. but of cos she's not rejecting it.. n i believe she is capable of doing it.. im hopping hard tt she wun disappear too much nex time...

so went to sentosa on sat afternoon.. n qt a random grp cos no gers at all.. oh mans i think im damn brave or damn free... but it was nice la.. they are nice snrs and vball n beach are my fav stuff... the sun was good n got myself qt red... the sand wasnt too hot cos it rained in the morning...

went to clarke quay with pj ah wei and tyy...had dinner at cafe iguana.. everything is nice.. jus tt my gastric wasn't feeling very well these days.. so jus had a cup of magarita... went to joy's place for mj.. it was a long long time since i played mj at joy's place.. n she's got a cute puppy called nike! hhahaha.. very frenly and he nv even bark at outsiders at all.. so the day ended at 4am n we went hm aft tt.. wonder when's the nex catch up session... missing those training times with the open's team and all the nuaings...

oh wells.. so 1 more week to start of work.. i shd really finish my log on my grad trip.. yea.. u nv see wrongly.. my logbook is still not completed.. hahhaha..im not a disciplined person u see.. yeaps.. hope tt the week will be good!

2009-10-05T22:50:00.002+08:00

before i know it.. it has already hit the big ten...and i wonder when will it stop.. kind of sick of all these rejections and disappointments already.. really

2009-10-04T15:47:00.007+08:00

the past week has been busy.. till the extent tt i've got not much time to send in my resumes.. but still had qt an enjoyable experience with the reg team... it was fun knowing new pple and knowing whats happening ard them.. perhaps its also how they work tt make the experience more enjoyable.. everyone is always offering help when they are free.. guess tts the power of team work i think... and of cos.. the team leader is a good leader i feel.. one who does not show her temper easily and sensitive to her team members.. for instance like dora n i made a mistake.. she was more concerned abt us being worried abt wat we did rather than reprimanding us abt the mistake... so here's the photos!

yy took this while i was unaware... i look qt serious tho im actually browsing facebook! hahhaha.. how they do customer service ok.. the face is incoherent of the activities u are doing... pple from outside will think u are busily at work

tt was issac beside me and kokwai in the fore picture... this is like the last day of the event so all of us are qt slack waiting for pple to come n register with us... this is so unlike the first day when everything is in havoc and aft 1 hr u'll feel so drained

and while we are free... we camwhored! hahhahaha tt's dora and me

tts the team photo from the reg team.. had fun working with them... from the left.. jim kokwai yiyin zai issac and me! ah wei was off for interview so she wasn't in this foto.. wat a pity!!!!

and to end the wonderful working experience of.. now its back to the mundane-boring-job-searching-interview-life for me... sigh..

and ydae was maf.. had a normal night with my mom... and my mom had a little souvenier for me.. tada!

hahhaha.. a childhood toy of her time.. which my grandma used to make it for her... its like a windmill whereby when u pull the string... the black colour ling jiao will turn.. hahaha.. sometimes im qt amused by the creativity they have back to tt time... u make ur own toys and the whole playing process includes getting ur materials.. making them.. and playing with them.. not like now... everything u just buy... maybe tts why kids these days do not know how to treasure simple things like these anymore... cos no effort was put in at all! and u can get newer better ones if wat u have now is spoilt... oh wells....

and aw showed this video to me...

its nice..the song.. the emotions without any dialogue.. but the storyline is abit too ideal i guess.. haha.. and so i wonder... wat will the ah boy opposite me react if i write a big poster saying 'hi, how are u?' hahahhaa... it will definitely freak him out i think... but come to think of it.. i've been seeing him(as in opp me and our blocks are qt near each other) for like 4 years? since i move in? hahhaha.. i do wonder wat he thinks when he see tt occasional me with my facial mask.. hhahahaha..

watched qt a few movies recently... like The Ugly Truth.. The Time Traveller's Wife and Coco before chanel.. ok the list is not alot but it seems more as compared to the life when i was back in uni... the ugly truth was funny... but still i guess its kind of ideal somehow..and the things tt were mentioned in the show abt wat kind of gers tt guys will not like... i think i bingo all.. no wonder im still single... oh wells..heck... and seriously im looking forward for more big productions.. like those tt can be comparable to lord of the rings... missed tt kind of 'wow' when i see those nice effects...

so.. now its back to the square one... another disappointment with the management trainee position... sometimes i really think... wat is tt factor tt is lacking in me.... or wat has really gone wrong with my interview... or is it because of size? im not very sure.. oh wells...

2009-09-27T16:09:00.003+08:00

i'm bored.. i noe i shdn't be wasting me time nuaing away and i shd be doing more readings for tml's interview.. i duno wat kind of info shd i look into... now everything seems kind of boring to me.. i guess this is the aftermath of ydae vball.. intense muscle ache tho i've been playing constantly at least for each week..

2009-09-25T15:10:00.003+08:00

waiting.. for a call from a company.. which i think its qt interesting tho its zero relevance to my majors... its 3+ already.. so i guess.. its getting far already.. wells.. aft so many times.. think i have no difficulty pulling myself back.. sort of numb already.. got to find many others again.. oh wells...

went to watch Time Traveler's Wife today with mich.. it was a story abt waiting.. i wouldn't say tt the movie is terrific.. but somehow it has the power to capture our attention for the whole movie.. somehow i guess time travelling is a blessing to the guy in the sense tt he sees alot of things which he can't given to his lifespan of 43 years... tho the wife have to wait for him.. and she have to deal with unexpected times when he has got to time travel.. she managed to see and touch him even after his death(cos he time traveled to the past).. so is tt good or bad? im not too sure.. but she was really a determined lady.. cos to wait without knowing what is the outcome of it requires lots of faith n courage i guess...

so, if u get to time travel, where will you go to?

For me, I would love to get to know my grandparents better. I would want to meet my parents who are young and witness their lives especially the kampong days. I want to see the baby me. I want to see Singapore gain independence and I want to see MM Lee on the TV. I want to sit on the next table with my ma during her class, to teach her English and Maths(haha). I want to visit my grandma when she was still in China and witness the change in her life after she came to Singapore. I want to go back to the times when my cousins and I are having fun when we are young. I want to see the me who was so happy and enthusiastic to go to school. I remember I was so excited to go to kindergarten at that time. I want to go into future. To see if our IR works. To see if Singapore is as good as it is 50 years down the road. To see if I am still single and to see if my family and friends are still happy and healthy. And perhaps some of my friends are married happily with their children! I really wonder how do they look like. Hehs. I guess I'm thinking too much again.

Alrights, got a call from the company that I was waiting for! =D Shall do more homework for them! Bless me!

2009-09-17T22:12:00.003+08:00

warning: this will be another depressing post...

got a letter from one of the companies that i went to interview at.. 2nd round.. bt it was a rejection..numb i can say.. disappointed is wat i can describe my emotions... wat am i worth? i dun really know.. even a sales , customer service position i can't even secure... someone told me tt sales position aren't good... and tt we shd get those tt can value addmyself.. such as a process engineer position since im interested in tt field.. yea.. i noe its easy to say tt i shd do something i like instead of anyhow choose something which maybe i can earn abit money but someting i dun like.. all these sound so ideal.. bt am i given the right to choose? do i have the chance to choose? pple say tt life is at ur own hands.. why i can't even feel that control that i can have with wat i want? even a basic customer service position can reject me.. i do not noe where to gauge myself.. i do not know why i have landed myself in this situation.. i did plan wat i wan.. i did try to be more flexible.. bt im in no where now.. am i really tt bad tt theres no where for me? i duno...

n auntie gang wanted to intro some guy to me.. yea i noe most of u gers are attached n u all dun wan to see me spending my life alone... i noe im fat unattractive.. i noe i dun look frenly at all.. i noe the way i talk to pple i sound fierce authoritative although i meant no other meainng.. i noe nobody will ever consider me as their gf.. bt am i really tt cannot make it until i need matchmaking to have a bf when im 23 yrs old? i noe i sound very defensive.. bt tt is really wat im thinking.. for me.. its either i meet the'him' myself or i'll jus stay single forever.. im already prepared for tt.. i really hate the idea of going these kind of matchmaking.. with everyone having tat idea tt they are there to find their lifetime companion.. with this objective in mind.. the them tt i noe will no longer be the natural them.. everything will be so fake.. so unnatural.. to me.. to get to noe someone well is from frens.. its at tt stage tt they will bring out their most transparent side.. if i dun have the chance to be their frens.. i rather stay at some side n observe what kind of person they are.. instead of the going dinner with an objective kind of noeing... maybe im wrong.. i noe im idealist.. im not very open in these kind of situations.. perhaps im jus sore tt nothing seems to be going right for me since a long time ago...

2009-09-17T00:26:00.005+08:00

vball.. 03s66.. aj..lionheart.. MAF.. CNY.. late nite trainings .. 'a' ball.. slope running... coro.. prince ..thai noodle hse... auntie gang... spe...ms tey...mr seow ...chan chan... mrs lee... OOF ..mulan... tennis... class vball... captains ball.. napfa.. hiding behind trees during 2.4.. chinese high.. honeydew milk shake.. hokkien mee ..stingray.. chicken pie.. barley uncle... ktv... david tao...jay.. energy... ctsessions... sports matches ..mad hair day.. bballers.. softballers ..netballers... define 'half-life'.. fish tank bottle.. harmonica..syf.. STJ.. JTS.. angel mortal ..wargames.. orientation.. valentines day ..blogs.. 76.. forever late chem lessons.. missing hp.. star gazing aft trainngs ..5-day training... training under rain... arguements ..tears.. teams.. captain.. frens.. muggings.. class bench ...MAF stall... mass dance ..lies... truths.. rose.. spy.. ke ai ji.. bridge.. frisbee.. back injury ..sick bay... timeless clock... huang cheng.. toapayoh sports hall.. snrs.. bishan mac.. entertainment mac..KAP..serene centre.. bukit timah food centre.. 6th ave...tys.. blk tests.. missing discman... 搁浅... 爱很简单..天天.. 爱我别走..寂寞的季节..library.. sch songs.. late.. slping in air con class rooms... napping in halls... stay overs.. chalets.. bbqs... right wing/left wing... lt2.. fac tees...171.. far east.. random ryan at taka.. kino.. horoscope books... book of answers.. labs... chinese appreciation lessons..sentosa..marina bay.. kite flying... indoor vball court during PE..

i noe this is totally random.. jus random tots aft reading somebody's blog tt was back in the 03/04 times in hc... n tt is making me nostalgic..i noe one shd move on.. but somehow i really missed those times.. those times were so tiring n yet enjoyable.. nv really study tt time n it was amazing tt i survived there... bt still somethings can onli be remembered.. stored as memories.. even goin back to sch now everything is different already...no wonder pple call tt sweet 17... oh my tt was 6 years ago.. 4 more years to a decade..

2009-09-15T13:41:00.007+08:00

wanted to do some updating bt sometimes there is something wrong with blogger.. like i can't upload pictures n stuff... zzzz anw.. aft so many depressing post.. now are some updates with the events tt i went to...

first... it was kite flying! have not successfully flown a kite up in the sky b4 and it was definitely a interesting experience! so here are the fotos!

first it is the food... clar brought the pizza.. dada bought the chicken wings.. ml brought the jelly.. huay brought the sandwich n me! with the fan tuan aka rice balls.... it seem to be very little of food bt u are wrong! in the end we wasted qt alot of food n i had to throw one box away.. maybe its too terrible.. haha

so this is us sitting at the side with the food... it was an interesting experience and fun too cos there are many pple ard us doing the same thing! jus tt our food seems more feng fu! heh.. the feeling was nice la.. with a grp of frens.. eatting.. lookin up... criticising/complementing the different kites up there... if u think tt kites are onli diamond shapes... u are wrong! there are many many many different types of kites up there... like the neon octopus... ship.. batman..spongebob... and oso some aerodynamically(with a bunch of chem engineers.. we nearly agreed tt it was 'thermodynamically'..it was aw who spotted this mistake..haha) not feasible ones like the sotong...

also.. it was also the celebration for huay's belated bdae... n ml bought my fav cake! hahahha.. it was clar's huay's fav cake too tho tanya hates choc cakes.. hahhaa.. n as u all noe.. it was super windy up at the barage.. n so... we have to stand ard to cover the wind...

we even have to use the kite to do it.. haha.. n huay looking at the cake.. somehow from this angle can feel tt she is smiling happily lei.. haha

then its the lighting of the candles.. a super tiring task..

and here's the bdae ger with the slanted candle .. afterwhich we started off with our kite flying..

heres tanya n dada.. the two onli pple who have flown kites before.. i can still rem the cui experience i had with jc class at the old marina bay.. hahaha.. running frantically ard the field.. with none of our kites went up...so back to tt day.. i tried to fly my kite too.. with the help of tanya.. n it really went high up! tt feeling was superb! hahhaa.. .first attempt n its up! n when it went up.. u will have the hope tt it will go up higher higher n higher.. i even tot that it can reach the height of the batman!(the highest kite there) but.. there are too many kites there.. n many strings ard there too... n so.. my kite's string got entangled and it jus came down... sobs....

we din meet early.. n so our day ended qt fast... coss towards the end there's no wind already.. so here's our grp foto... so to anyone tt happen to read this... 3pm is the ideal time to start! not tt hot n there's wind! 6pm is like theres no wind liao... so very demoralising cos the kite cannot get up! kite flying with food is definitely a interesting experience n good outing for medium size grps! n 2 pple is ideal for 1 kite.. hahha.. too many pple on 1 kite some pple mite feel bored n 1 person on 1 kite mite be too boring.. n on a sidenote.. while i was super engrossed with my kite tt is up in the sky.. i saw someone familiar at the barage.. which reminded me tt jc was 6 years ago.... OH MY! changes happen n i think i've changed more or less too... old liao la!

then last sun.. we went to xx's pl for wii.. yea her pl at buangkok n neo cannot make it cos its too far... sometimes i really wish tt there is some train line tt links up the punggol area with the west! bt it was fun la.. the updates abt our life and the ever tiring wii sessions which makes good workout for everyone... and of cos our usual fb spying.. hahha.. k la not spying bt updates on new pple ard us... n here goes

mich n me.. my new hairstyle!

the four of us... xx look super happy! hahhaa mus be the good happenings ard her la...

some foto taken while playing wii.. oh man.. real fat...

and.. we started to watch 超级星光大道 at xx's pl after dinner... and there is this guy call 倪安东 who is a american tt is studying in taiwan.. his voice is not the best but its his charisma and his expressiveness which makes all of us go quiet while watching him... his side view is really nice!! so heres the video! enjoy everyone!

2009-09-09T01:22:00.002+08:00

got a call from one of the companies that i went for the interview last week.. got into second round.. finally.. gonna have a taste of wat a second round interview is like.. k i dun sound happy do i.. wells.. i do not noe.. totally got no idea how to prepare for this second round of interview cos they say its supposed to be abt technical qtns... how i wish its a process eng position.. oh wells.. seriously i think im in no position to hiam anything.. hope everything will be fine as it gets going.. anw who says i've passed the second interview rite?

met up with tyy n mich today... oh wells.. aft a big struggle by psychoing myself tt i can survive not doing a chem eng related job... im back to the starting pt again.. like wat tyy says.. it is very amazing to see wat u study in the books comes into life... which makes u have the motivation to study more n noe more abt them... yea..tt was precisely how i feel when i went ia .. and this makes me wan badly to be a process eng despite my very cui grades... sigh.. tt feeling is back.. sometimes i really duno shd i blame it on my luck or am i really not up to it..

then recently there are many updates abt pple getting married.. of cos im very happy for them... but during times alone.. i often have this fear.. if nothin bad happens.. by nature my parents will pass away due to old age..as a only child i dun even have any sibling to tok to... i think by hook or by crook i will have a job.. n im pretty sure tt i wun get married and i wun have a bf looking at current situation.. everyone ard me will get married n have their own children...so.. wats left with me.. its jus a job and the hse.. the tot of tt.. is totally scary... wat if i met with some mishaps along the way? there wouldn't be anyone out there to take care of me too... i nv say tt i wan my frens to be ard me always.. to be there for me always.. its like.. ive come to a pt to accept tt.. family and bf/husbands are definitely much more impt than a fren... so watever priorities goes to family and the companion.. which makes me think.. wats the pt of going all out for the frens out there..trying to organise stuff or trying to be thoughtful for them when they onli appreciate wat u do but ultimately when u are down, lonely, low morale there's no one u can go to? now.. i really understand wat one of the frens said is true... maybe i've reached tt kind of age to see some things in another light.. bt i guess i really got to be prepared to spend the later of my life alone.. oh wells.. i guess its the aftermath of UP..bt at least the old man experienced wats love and relationships.. i think i will nv get to experience tt in my whole life... nex lifetime maybe?

k wat a depressing post again..

2009-09-01T00:05:00.003+08:00

to think tt we tot of it at the same time.. at diff places...aft hearing to the plan i was super happy.. somewhere out there.. there is still somebody who share the same passion as me.. i tot i was the only one left standing.. no wonder we are team mates.. i guess its time to lose some weight.. to be able to do my blocking.. n its time to source more team mates! heh

suddenly.. out of the goaless life that i've been spending besides aiming to get a job.. i realise that there are two dreams tt i have at the other side of my mind...

1. to play in opens nex year
2. to set up a backpackers inn in sg..(starting this thinking aft stayin at various backpackers inn in aussie)

with 2 still a long term plan.. need to get the bucks ready n with more plannings and touring overseas to chk it out how other pple do it... interview tml.. good luck to me once again.. bt the teh c peng n the 12 hr of slp last nite seem to be keeping me awake.. wide awake..

2009-08-30T01:30:00.002+08:00

revisited hougang sports hall aft the usual sat vball sessions... this time as a watcher instead of a player.. seeing those familiar faces... happy to see those young ones who played well now.. they were like little kids back then... the last time i was there was in 07..during opens too.. the match with IK was the one tt my knee officially cui aft tt.. tho tt was the main reason why my knee cui but i think it was enjoyable still...i still believe in my choice of continueing to play tho my knee showed symptoms of cuiing already... wells.. time flies n it has been 2 years since i go back n see competitive vball... went to support elmo n his team for the match today.. it has been a long time since i feel the excitment of losing n winning a pt.. i think really miss those shoutings/cheerings.. n also the set winning 25 pts which accompanied me for abt 10 years? the shot balls and divings... the playing with tactic and the bushuangness u have when referees n linesmen are not doin their job well... oh my.. how i wish i can go back.. like tho old uncles who still fight along with their buddies.. oh my

2009-08-29T01:23:00.003+08:00

yea im back.. with another depressing post.. anw sry for the tagboard.. dun really noe how to repair it but i dun feel like changing the blog to another address cos its like this has got so many so many things.. surprisingly.. this blog is already abt 6 years old! oh gosh.. tt is so old.. n i can't believe tt 2003 was like 6 years ago.. amazing... so if anyone is still reading this blog.. im so sorry bt maybe if u all wan can like tok to me on msn? maybe it will be good if anyone can help me solve this tagboard problem too..

oh well.. job searching is qt bad for my side.. been waiting for a call today but oh wells... sometimes i jus hope tt my fone will ring... seriously i tot i will get it... really... i do not know if i really overestimated my capabilities.. or im really tt gullible to think tt they like me.. i duno wats going on.. how can something feel so right n good.. ended up being another disappointment... i noe its bad.. but from a long time ago i've decided not to set goals for myself.. maybe there's a perfectionist in me.. tt i have the tendency to overestimate myself n set goals which i tot tt i can achieve.. n yet i end up disappointing myself... but somehow.. for this particular post.. i guess i've put in some hope inside again.. but who knows.. once again.. i lived in my own world.. where pple see me totally as a different person of how i see myself...

its really a worrying issue for me now.. not getting a job now... seriously i think im towards desperate side... sometimes i hope tt i major in journalism.. where i can do freelance.. or maybe business.. so i can get internships.. somehow the field tt im looking in i've not heard of any self approached internship(i hope u all get wat i mean)... many pple will see me as a lucky person.. an only child who does not have any loan to clear... maybe im still appearing as if i got mountains of money to spare... maybe im still appearing as if i got tons of resources to rely on... sometimes it saddens me.. or i think its very worrying.. my parents are old.. n i see them working hard to earn some for a living.. i really hope tt the day when i can afford to let them sit back n relax at hm and enjoy the rest of their lives will come soon...bt i duno when will tt be...

oh wells.. enough of ramblings.. today marks the end of all the replies from the interviews... all rejections.. time to move on n hope for more interviews to come.. n to those who are reading this.. pls pray for me tt i will get a job soon!

2009-08-18T14:07:00.000+08:00

talking abt fear.. i guess i've not much fear to tok abt and i guess the onli fear that i have is that i am not what i think i am...or maybe.. what i see i am as a person is totally different from how pple see me.. sometimes this can be qt disheartening.. its like.. so have i been living in my own deception? i am not as capable than what i think i am? i really don't know...

talking abt job... i noe everyone has been saying the economy is bad.. but from what i see.. the pple ard me are employed.. not tt im sore.. but sometimes it makes me think.. what is the diff between me n them.. n what makes me unemployed... i do not know...

n things have been goin up n down for me... from thinking that i will not get a job tt is related to my field.. to somewhere tt is near what i want to be... n in this week i've lost all my chances... oh great.. now im in nowhere.. thinking why have i been working so hard last week... i noe its bad to lose faith.. bt i really hate it how employers can really 'play' with ur feelings... well done to them...

'so what do u see urself in 5 years'... this is actually the worst qtn that i hate... of cos... u can use some generic ans for tt.. but ultimately.. the only person that i cannot bluff is myself.. for those who noe me.. im not good at lying.. n i hate to lie.. and so.. it always makes me think real hard n i've not come out with an answer myself... i guess ive already lost the ability to dream.. cos most of my dreams had jus ended up with more n more disappointments... i do envy those who dare to dream n are working to them slowly.. i think i dun even noe wat i want in the future...

so much of random ramblings.. i guess the situation tt i am in now is like im in the middle of pacific ocean w/o a map or a compass... i really duno where im heading to...

2009-07-06T17:49:00.000+08:00

2009-07-05T23:48:00.015+08:00

k since i was having problems with fotos this morning.. i shall lump all the fotos here..so here goes the fotos we for the past few mths

the kebabs... totally nice in terms of taste and the outlook!

yanni(ms tanya)

janice and charlotte

some fotos we took while preparing for food...at the back is huay then front its rhoda(dada) and mayling(ml) who is in brown

food cooking... the bacon was nice too!

foto while nuaing n watching tv upstairs... from the left its yanni(ms tanya) mayling(ml) rhoda(dadaz) and huiping(i call her ah huay..haha)

ms tanya again

watching replay of yu le bai fen bai... they were introducing lu guang zhong... interesting person with a nice voice! hahaz

oh some grp fotos... the pple in addition is youwei(mr aw)who is in blue... the other guy is marcus..then the janice and charlotte who is in kaki and white sleeveless respectively... so tts the full design grp foto... qt cam whore arent we

a proper one

the roomies

bintan fotos
we were qt surprised tt for wat we paying we could such a nice place... so heres the foyer...

trying to take an artsy foto of ms tanya who is all willing to pose for us.. haha

totally feel like a tourist

tts the big common pool they have... but.. hahah.. the shy us din go n swim there

us with the nice background

us in front of our bungalow... oops.. alittle posing here... oh n our apartment is number 9!

tts the back view of our bungalow... tts our private pool!

side view of the bungalow n pool

our first meal was at some artificial town tt they build... n they call it a city... dots... its totally commercialised.. so fake!

our indonesian cuisine

say hi to scarlet!

some random shots of ms tanya

went to recce ard our pl... isnt it nice...

lazing beside the pool... chatting abt nothing.. haha

some shots tt we took along the beach

walking ard

sitting with the food tt we've prepared... cooking really saves money!

shots on the cabby.. they are all my presch coaches!

dada n ml

the nex day is abt beach.. see the nice beach they have? tho theres still island la... we went on with some beach vball and two ang mos even joined us

and war of aw n tanya... shall not release too much of them else pple will say they scandal n i will be dead.. haha

see the reflections from the sun... nice!

acting as the gauge for a grp foto... oh my so fat!

and i began to nua

back from asking the price of coke... super dame ex la

i like this foto.. haha

grp foto

lying down nuaing on the bed

some shots of sunrise... for those who noe me.. i love to catch sunrise everytime i have the opportunity... tho some of them said tt doesnt all sunrise.. but to me they are diff... cos the colours that they form differs at times too... jus when i was abt to watch sunrise myself... giving some thoughts of the thigns tt i need to do in the future while having some time of my own... aw joined in while the gers were sleeping..he's a light sleeper la... then he went to drag the gers out for the sunrise.. haha..sometimes im qt glad to have such a buddy over the years... tts really qt a reward from my IA.. to noe koh san ml n aw... oh ya... hope his first wish will come true.. tho i duno wat is it.. but i supposed its definitely abt his ex.. haha

so heres the last breakfast we have... very sumptious... tho we are onli left with 15 min.. we still manage to grab a hold of everything... the manager was clever enough to chuck us at some corner.. haha.. so we wun disturb the cleaning process.. haha

art fest opening and sg flyer

the four of us at art fest opening... it was very last min.. hahaa

nite scene with my old canon... im sure the new one can do better! haha.. n of cos with my fav blue

the giant mantis

on the bus and we din noe where it will lead us to

a foto while we walked to the chinatown tian ji zhou stall...

before the ride... hiding behind to make my face smaller! heh

dadas n clar

aw dada clar

k some of the fotos were lost in the progress.. n its getting late.. will upload other fotos later!

2009-07-05T12:27:00.009+08:00

today is july 5th.. been such a long time since i last updated... i guess many will think this blog is dead already.. haha.. somehow i become super lazy to update my blog... tho i did mention tt this blog is meant to help me rem the past... those memorable ones esp...

so what have i been doing these days? hmm maybe i shall run thru the things tt happened over the last few mths... life aft exams was qt weird... weird in the sense tt i do not feel that kind of relieve that its over... or the finally-i-have-graduated feeling... which i do not know why... whenever i see pple like celebrating for graduation im like no feeling.. perhaps the change is not so obvious since year 4 has less modules and i the contrast is not so distinct... or maybe deep down ive been worrying abt getting a job soon.. or whether i will get a job tt i like..

life aft exams was qt relaxed and busy.. haha.. tt sounds abit contradicting but it was relaxed since there are no more assingments, projects, fyp... busy in the sense tt i was busy with arranging grad trip, badminton with some of my design mates, going chalet bintan trip with design pple and of cos trying to spend some time with my ma and grandma because if i get a job n starting work i doubt i can get so much time out for them...

so here goes... the chalet fotos... it was qt bad cos everyone got to spend alot for it.. n the chalet wasnt very good... not worth the money spent on it i feel... so at the last day i was qt affected by it cos i guess everything narrows down to my bad organisation skills in terms of keeping to budget....

then it was the bintan trip... went to ml rhoda yn aw n aw's three frens meiyin joanne and jingxi(hope i nv spell wrongly).. we went to bintan lagoon resort and it was qt good cos we din spend too much and it was qt a big room... like a bungalow with a private pool.. chalet with private pool eh.. hahhaa.. totally beat the chalets in sg... the trip was qt normal.. slow pace n relaxed... n i had my preview to driving ! haha.. dadaz yn and ml.. it was really fun! hahaha.. like how the thing move n u can control it.. hahha.. really had the chong dong to go n learn driving but.. need capital first.. but i think the three of them makes good coaches.. hahhaa.. patient.. trying to tok some sense in me.. haha.. n on the second nite.. despite risking ourselves to the mosquitoe bites.. all of us laid on the beach benches and jus nua and watch the stars above... it was really lots of lots of stars... hahhaa... more than 30-40 i guess... it was weekday n so not all the bungalows were lighted which makes it easier to see the stars... somehow that feeling is amazing.. like we the skies of sg n bintan are so similar.. there were actually many many stars above us but our light pollution was so bad tt so many were gone... n i saw my first shooting star! initially i do not know tt they are shooting stars hahaha i tot my eyes were playing tricks on me.. but.. hahah.. aft some confirmation from aw.. they were indeed shooting stars... n of cos.. i made my first wish.. upon the shooting star.. n aw made a wish of more shooting stars.. hahah.. indeed dada(rhoda) and i saw like 6-7 in like 2 hr.. and aw saw like abt 10+! gosh.. wonder if tt is the norm or is it aw's wish really come true? hahaha.. but tt feeling was qt good.. sitting down.. looking at the sky.. then in between had some talks.. which makes me hope tt time will stop at tt moment.. i really wonder when will we get the time tgt like this when all of us are working.. esp when pple are attached.. u cannot force them to spend these kind of time with u sacrificing the time they wan to spend with their partners.. worst if they have their children..of cos to me family is very impt.. so i really wonder when will this kind of time come again....hope tt this grp will remain.. aft these years.. seen grps getting tgt n aft some time everyone jus gone separate ways.. n the contact jus got lesser n leseer...wells time will noe...

then.. in between went to like art fest opening n singapore flyer with some of them... here are the fotos...

then it was the grad trip.. with kuan... went to sydney-goldcoast-brisbane-herveybay-agnes water... k the last two are actually some towns north of brisbane...somehow din felt very very excited throughout the trip.. i guess its the burden inside.. like i can't get a job soon and im spending like this... n its alot of other factors.. like sydney was too urbanised like sg which did not give me the overseas feeling... my cam was spoiled on the 3rd day of my trip.. i love to take my own fotos.. wat i wan in my cam.. so it was really a great spoiler for the trip... then it was raining throughout.. esp in our day tours which we've paid qt abit of money inside.. with rain there's nothing much u can do in winter cos we are so tropical.. really cannot stand tt kind of cold...

but there are still memorable things to take from the trip... n i still love travelling because there are many things u can see n hear and learn from there... i do miss the times when we cooked at the communal kitchen... it was really fun.. haha.. cos u get to see wat the others cook.. n from wat they cook.. u can roughly tell where are they from... like there's this grp of french gers.. cos french they are particular with wat they eat.. they have like steak(steak for backpacking u noe.. haha) and they still have deserts to end off their meal... then some guys who are not very particular with wat they eat will jus have bread and a mixture of weird sauces which looks qt disgusting.. haha.. but tt makes a meal oso... our meal was qt interesting oso.. haha.. i could still rem how we used the communal tomato sauce to add up to the spaghetti sauce we had for the second nite.. n of the the last nite in agnes water.. when we saw gers making crepes with flour n sugar(yea crepes for backpacking..haha).. and the cute french chinese who worked in tt hostel.. haha..tts random...oh not to miss the punctured tyre of our 4wd at fraser island... it was raining and all of us have to get down in order for the uncle to change the tyre... we were totally dressed for sunny day.. and there it rained... its not like sg u get shelters in national parks... so we were trembling in cold facing the fierce currents that is coming in... i guess this is really a special experience tt could not be bought .. hahaz

and the blur us who add on some interesting pts in between.. esp in travelling.. like... we missed our flight.. (yea miss our flight).. got off the wrong bus stop for the train and we nearly missed the train.. got to run to the train...it felt so much like amazing race... haha running with our backpacks... then getting on the train without any train tix and got told off by the staff to make our booking of the tics nex time when we wanna take this train...(yea rite.. haha.. wonder when will be the nex time i take tilt train).. and also.. the super expensive greyhound bus which we have to take to agnes water... n tt trip waas interesting.. esp towards the last hour of the bus ride.. its like the bus has been travelling on the roads with no street lights for 1 hr.. tt shows how ulu the place is... n true enough.. agnes water tt side was very ulu.. the backpackers inn we stayed in there were no street lamps at all...oh n the long wait at the bus stop at harbour town.. it was freezing cold n the bus service ended early on sat nite! gosh.. tts totally not like sg cos we have fixed timing for buses.. or perhaps two sets of timing lke one for wkend and one for wkdays... but lucky us still manage to get on some bus.. change at australian fair n manage to reach our acc safely

then the coldness at sydney... tho it din feel so good when i was there.. but somehow i missed tt kind of coldness.. haha.. cos u can really dress up there.. somehow i felt tt winter clothings are super nice... boots and such.. but luckily ive managed to stop myself from buying any boots.. they arent' tt expensive as they are in sg i feel... n those winter clothes.. much nicer n affordable than sg... which makes them so so so tempting...and the bluemountains... it was really cold when it reaches abt 5 which is the time when sun sets... my hands and face felt super pain when we were at one of the last stops... i can really sense tt we are in a freezer.. really .. i do think tt the temp tt time hit below zero.... n how we ran to the bus stop to catch the last explorer bus cos somehow we could not find the way to gordon falls.. i oso duno why.. but since it was late n cold.. it was better if we do not persist.. else we'll be trapped on blue mountains at nite!

n of cos the beaches at aussie... super duper nice...islandless and shipless.. haha.. totally not like sg... at most u see 1 or 2 sailboats.. tts all... haha.. sadly the attempt to catch sunrise at gold coast was spoiled by the clouds... tho sunrise with the clouds is still nice but ive been seeing them everytime.. i was hoping for like one tt is islandless shipless cloudless... and the sun jus pop out from the horizon.. oh wells.. not so heng afterall... n talk abt water... lake mckenzie was super nice! clear water and the colour was so so nice! it will be prettier if its not a gloomy day...oh wells.. if its not raining we will be swimming there.. really.. sighz...

so the trip was summarised to this... doubt i will post the detailed trip here cos im jus too lazy!

and sis got engaged on the 29 of june! although it seems like a simple ceremony.. but i felt so so so so happy for her the moment they say 'I do'.. oh my tt is like so so so so sweet.. haha.. i hope she'll be xing fu!

k i was trying to upload fotos to describe my post better BUT.. somethhing crop up which i do not know why...

2009-04-01T20:43:00.004+08:00

暗恋 -张智成-
作曲作詞: 彭學斌
四目交接的時候不要停留太久
適可而止的問候關心不能太過
好奇也別去探索妒嫉只能深鎖
如果忍不住寂寞也不能對你說

啊好朋友啊我的好朋友
不小心的沉默不想讓你太難過

我們就站在落地窗的兩邊
就算觸碰也有了界限
如果跨越過彼此那道邊界
是靠近還是更遙遠

相信我們走到另一個境界
搭肩高唱友誼萬萬歲
要是我愛你變成了語言
甚麽會多一些甚麽會少一些

就讓別人去猜測我們清白的很
就讓自己去承受那種清白的悶
就算我只是朋友能不能有要求
如果會發生甚麽也是我想太多

啊好朋友就只是好朋友
不小心說出口微笑中藏著難過

我們就站在落地窗的兩邊
就算觸碰也有了界限
如果跨越過彼此那道邊界
是靠近還是更遙遠

你會不會也曾閃過這感覺
一念之間就要差一點
要是我愛你變成了利劍
甚麽會被消滅甚麽才會復原
那是我的底綫繼續將你暗戀

2009-03-07T23:41:00.004+08:00

some little updates here.. fyp has finally come to a stop soon.. everyone's rushing report and soon it will be the poster.. once again im once again impressed by how time can really fly pass.. it seems like ydae tt i was still thinking hard of which fyp to choose n what to do if i can't get the one that i like... somehow i was qt lucky to get this fyp which i wanted.. instead of getting diff rounds of excitement or getting something which i do not even like... n now.. im already going to conclude my report.. whoa.. tt is really like 1 year.. gosh...

design project was terrible... tt few nites trying to pia something out was really bad for health n skin... haha.. and aft everyone has handed in their fyp report.. its going to start again.. this time round i guess it'll be worst cos there are lots of things for it..

went to ktv with a bunch of... i-never-knew-tt-i-will-ktv-with-them pple.. of cos.. i was totally quiet tt day.. i really mus clarify.. i do not detest them.. i guess i warm up very slowly.. n im naturally a shy person.. hahaha... pls do not laugh.. but ya.. i think im a shy person who open up to pple slowly.. unless its my territory.. hahhaa.. like how a hermit will feel only when its back to its shell... the outing was fine.. but somehow it reminded me of the times back in hc.. we were so eng until the day b4 we go ktv we'll think of the songs tt we want to sing n even practise for them.. its really been a long time since i sang ktv with them..k shall not stay in the past.. so here are some fotos for the ktv trip

ermz.. one of the series of 10 shots.. ehs.. too many of them so iguess i'll post just one here..oh and this bunch of frens are from my design grp.. marcus charlotte aw and janice..rhoda wasn't here cos she went off early..

here's rhoda..the sometimes-quite-blur one

aw and janice

then for those who watch tv and saw some adverts... yes! the one tt is on tv is part of auntie gang! sharon aka ah neo... today was the finals and so tyy n me went to give her our support... tho it was qt biased in the sense tt most of the percentage is based on online voting(her frens like us are all so busy who dun even bother to sign in)..am quite happy for her cos she really did something that is special or different...

oh.. and on 25 feb 2009... i saw this pretty rainbow while taking a break from my expt! it was really really the best one i've ever seen.. everyone was talking abt it and it was so funny when i wanted to call clar to ask her to see this pretty rainbow..she called! gosh.. tt is like so qiao.. hahhaa.. and aft all the rainbows ive seen... this is the only one that comes with a reflection! manz.. how lucky i am.. n it really brightens up my day... seriously..

and a random foto..

heres one of my nieces.. although her face is qt sian here.. but she's really cute when she opens up to talk to u! heh...

the past two weeks has been qt relaxing for me.. hahaz... i jus do not have tt motivation to start doing my report n finalising them... went to run for a few days already.. the wonder of exercise.. u can really tell the difference in terms of reaction time and how fast ur brain absords certain information... but.. i would like to declare here... i think my plan of losing 10 k has failed... yes.. so i shall continue to be the fat ugly one...

and random feelings...

sometimes you jus feel that certain pple and you have the fate to meet.. like no matter where u are.. no matter when is it.. regardless of how weird tt timing is.. for eg like in the lift in a non-lect time.. you'll meet this person.. the conversation is nice but yet you just do not get that chance to know this person more.. i guess this really fits the saying.. you yuen wu fen... really...

and.. seriously the amt of time you noe a person does not imply whether tt frenship is proportionate to it... really sad tt despite noeing these pple the longest in this particular setting... the conversation tt we hold became more n more plastic.. i've tried putting my heart into this frenship b4.. but still i guess our ideals of the concept of frens are really diff... pls do not blame pple of not putting in effort while you fail to do so.. relationships between humans.. be it kinship frenship or relationship between bf n gf is a two way thing.. pple will be tired of giving too much while u urself do not put in any effort...

it is aft so many years tt certain stories unfold.. some pple are actually more scheming than what you've tot.. they lie to get the things tt they wan or get a situation to be on the good side for them.. which makes me think.. some of the things tt i see/hear may have other stories which i do not know of... or maybe im onli part of the plan or maybe im one of the chess of their game...

and soon im going to graduate.. n i guess.. its time when the true frenship stays... those who are really meant to be will stay while those tt are not real will soon fade away...

2009-02-15T22:12:00.007+08:00

as promised last valentine's .. we shall not meet on valentines day... and so.. we met on the eve of v-day! hahaz.. but sadly the working pple are super busy and once again we failed to meet up with them.. i really hope tt things won't be tt bad when all of us are working(tt is.. im employed)! had a simple dinner at vivo.. and after which.. we head off for timbre at substation... sadly.. its a super longgg queue at tt place.. and so we jus wander to other places... took some fotos along the way.. and i realise..actually some of the buildings in singapore is qt nice.. jus tt its with us everyday so we couldn't feel the uniqueness in them... so some of the camwhoring here...

n i realise photos are really nice when they are in this mode.. hahaha.. so maybe for a period of time u all will see more of these kind of fotos up... went to chill at starbucks once again spending the countdown to V-day tgt.. hahhaa..

our 4th member of the day.. guigui.. seriously i think its qt cute in this way.. haha but somehow they claim that it look like something else.. oh wells...

an attempt to take a emo/artsy pic for ah wei.. attempt failed.. hahaha

somehow non of us felt like going back and so.. we headed off for esplanade... emo place II

isn't this nice? hahah i guess i really love this mode for the cam.. jus a simple road seems so pretty with the lights.. n.. some fool deliberately walked in front of us while taking one of the pics... ROAR! stop seeking attention pls!

and so we settled down at the open stage at esplanade... chatting n nuaing like b4 for 3-4 hrs... i really miss tt feeling! oh manz...

while sitting down.. i can't help observing other pple.. sometimes its really interesting to look at them... n there is this guy who jus sat there by himself drinking.. n look at his hp frequently... and there are some touchy couples ard.. oh wells.. its valentines day... n a security guard who got to work still while pple are having their lovey dovey time.. oh wells everyone has their different ways of spending this v-day..

isn't this nice?

i really enjoyed myself that night.. im really fortunate to have u guys ard.. so im wasn't afraid of staying single(until now at least).. but still... u guys must buck up ok!! ah wei pls work hard and kio some good guys back to sg.. not much time is left ! n my dear tyy... may u meet ur right one soon!! all the best sia!

and so.. Happy Valentines' day my frens! tho this post is abit late... can't wait for this week to be over and chill this fri! design is making me mad n FYP is draining me too... oh wellz....

2009-01-23T23:54:00.002+08:00

while pple get involved into getting the 5Cs in life, namely, cash, car, credit card, condo and membership of country club, they din know that they are stepping into a world of 4Ds... Despression, Death, Disease and Debts..

2009-01-16T23:23:00.003+08:00

was having HRM(human resource management) lecture that day and like what he always do.. the lecturer will start the lesson off with some emo/meaningful thingy.. and he showed this to us.. do ignore the last slide!

The Wise Old Man

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Humor pictures man

and i do agree..old age is like a bank account..you withdraw in later life what you have deposited along the way... and looking back.. tho my life is far from bring termed as extraordinary... it is not tt boring tho..

on another note.. sometimes i really think tt sporeans are really inconsiderate! out of the 2 weeks tt i took train to sch with my right foot wrapped.. only one day an auntie offered me her seat (beside her are two young pple busy playing with their psp).. i guess maybe i should look more fraile or i shd just faint infront of them..seriously my foot shd have recovered much earlier if there are more considerate pple ard...

and finally i can feel that sch has already started.. gonna start lab this sun..yes.. back to the 0800 to 2000 per day life... plus design proj starting.. i hope i can make some constructive contributions.. dun really like to free-ride..

2009-01-13T14:31:00.002+08:00

the final sem has started... yet feeling abit weird cos i dun feel much diff from hols... think can't get used to the 1 lect per day sys... as compared to past sems... it was really a norm to go sch at 0930 and end at 1930... we hardly get out of sch when the sky is still bright... yeaps.. but i guess this is shortlived cos all the projects haven start yet... n i can't do my fyp due to my injury... oh wellz.. shall pia watever part of report first..

and.. to announce here abt my big plan... in order not to be saddened by anymore injuries in the future... i shall.. step into the vball court only after I've lost 10kg of my weight! haha.. sounds ambitious but i hope i can stay determined..to prevent any disappointments.. but still.. sometimes find it hard to concentrate on wk when im hungry.. oh no.. i hope i dun give in so soon! n hope tt soon u all will see a slimmer prettier fang.. heh

2009-01-08T00:23:00.002+08:00

school is finally starting for me tml.. aft the self proclaim holidays for the pass 3 days due to my injury.. can't really believe that its the last sem for me in uni.. time sure flies.. soon in a few mths time i will say good bye to all the lectures.. the laughter with frens and the torture we've been thru.. i guess i shd really enjoy this sem.. b4 i start to miss anything... omg its the first time tt i am actually motivated to go back to sch.. wonder how's everyone aft 1 mth?

2009-01-02T21:00:00.010+08:00

was supposed to update on the things but was too tired or sian to type anything.. oh wellz... from the last post can tell tt im not in qt a good mood for the past week... sick of injuring myself everytime and the whole cycle jus repeats themselves... like when i start to build back wat i could do in vball.. ill defnitely injure myself.. and i have to rest for 1 or 2 mths and then everything starts from zero again... then when i stop.. my weight will start to gain and it will be harder for me to build back anything... maybe the one up there wants to tell me something.. ahhh.. i duno... oh wellz.. this post is supposed to highlight on the new year...mood totally dampened by my leg.. the only good thing tt i tot of was tt luckily we din managed to book the chalets at ubin.. if we did.. n i missed this.. i definitely cry seriously...

this year is slightly different from the past years... tho we, ning joel ken jc will meet up for countdown each year... this year's countdown means something more different.. it marks the 10th year tt we've known each other... its definitely not easy for us to stay tgt aft 10 years.. we each have our own new frens.. our own programmes.. from the similar us.. dunman high.. to the not-so similar us.. ning in poly while the rest of us in jc.. n joel in tj while im in hc while cheng cheng n ken in vj.. until the totally diff us pursueing our diff interests in uni... cheng cheng in archi.. ning in biz..ken n joel in acct while im in chem eng... new pple come into our lives and such.. we change.. everything ard us changes...but despite all these changes.. the love we have for each other as frens have nv changed... i am really fortunate to have known these peeps..(not forgeting the some other good frens that i've made over the years... im really fortunate in this)

ok so the meetup started off with cheng cheng's preparation of the carrot cake with the help from his fren! since it is supposed to be kept as a secret.. he came over to my hse the day before to store and do some last min touch up.. so here goes

putting the raisins on top

tada! here's the cake but not very sure why is it rotated this way

cheng cheng keeping the cake

and i've decided to do something nice for them.. i guess.. its true tt when ur mood isn't good.. watever tt u did are not nice too.. hahaha.. so guilty.. cos i think the most cui one was ning's one.. sry ger... while.. the best one is joel's one which i did last...

ning's.. forgot to take pic of the interior of the cover.. it was our foto tgt.. somehow i felt that the back of the cd cover was qt nice.. haha...

then it was cheng's cheng's one... n i manage to make the back part stick to the theme of green! heh

then it was ken's one...

and the one which i tot was the best one.. is this! maybe its blue.. not very sure.. but felt tt the tiles were arranged/chosen appropriately.. and this design was really impromptu cos the idea of the black ring in the middle was only established after the second row was done...

then its the actual day.. ning brought her bf which i shall not mention his name due to some complications... the wait was quite long cos joel is preparing some food beforehand at his place(something abt joel which i do not know wat to say abt him.. haha..always does not mean what he wanna say.. initially he was commenting tt the food preparation was a big
n he does not want any hassle.. yet now.. he is doing most of the cooking).. okayz.. so here are our dinner! added with my fav winter special pizza.. hahaz

then at midnite.. cheng cheng took out the cake tt was baked to celebrate our frenship! on the very first sec of 2009 we blew the candle tgt.. haha.. i quite like this foto tho.. the one with all of us blowing the candle

then it was the struggle with my mini tiny mj.. hahhaa... it was qt a bad nite for me too... din win any sets throughout the whole round... and we took abt 6+ hr to clear 1 round.. hahha... cos.. amg them me n ning are the most pro one.. omg.. hahhaa.. tt was how bad the std is..

aft the long torturous session of mj we then switched to monopoly.. which i tot we will get sian diao by it after 1 aft... but we din! instead i guess all of us are hooked by it and it lasted for another 4 hrs.. haha.. im really surpirsed tt monopoly can last so long...but still my luck was oso suey for it.. either in jail or stepping at other pple's property.. not even given a chance to buy more property.. and worst still.. i was the first to step into joel's parklane with a hotel.. how ex was tt la... left with only 5 bucks aft selling my assets to him...
and then.. the stayover ended aft ken n ning's bf woke up...

alrights.. wellz.. personally i think i din enjoy myself tt much like last year's new year celebration... i guess it was due to my leg... nt very sure why oso la... din felt much for this coming year... new year 08 i was hoping tt 08 will be a better year.. oh wellz.. it din.. so i shan't hope for anything in 09... compared to tt long list of new year resolution i had last time.. i can say this year i have nothing in tt list at all... my only wish is tt the loved ones around me (grandma.. parents.. cousins.. frens.. those who care abt me)will still be around me healthily and happily as usual... i hope that the one up there will make my small little wish come true..for me myself i really don't hope for other things already doubt tt i can find back the old cheerful self again or soon i think..

while paying up at the sinseh and on the trip back hm on cab.. tears kept rolling down.. somehow.. i failed to keep my tears back this time(i've nv cried in front of anyone, not even in front of my mom, before since 03 outside hwa chong hall the day after we lost our national finals cos tt was our last hope in a sch tournament to make it to finals).. it was really embarassing cos everyone was staring at me..even my mom asked me why i cried.. silence was my reply because even me myself do not know exact reason.. is it one reason or is it a combination of reasons? is it something which i can't do now in the short run or is it something which i think i've already lost forever?

2009-01-02T14:19:00.002+08:00

the moment i hear the crack at my foot at nus court.. i noe these will happen

new year countdown 09 --- gone
museum trip on sat -- gone
going out b4 the start of last sem --- gone
sch for the next week --- trouble
vball for the next 2 months --- gone
last ISG tt i promised to play with sandy--- gone
fyp for the next 2 weeks --- gone
left knee due to the intensive use since i cannot put weight on the right foot --- gone

and everything that i've built up gone.. my touch for vball is gone again... what a holiday

2008-12-22T23:09:00.008+08:00

the effect of mos ice milk tea is still very effective on me.. despite waking up at 530 today.. still kind of awake at this moment.. so i guesss.. like what I did each year.. mayb i'll look back in the year 2008..

2008... a year of a fatter weaker and older me..started with one of the most memorable way of celebrating... it was the outing with ning joel ken and jc.. we rented a car..the whole process of buying food for steamboat..how the steamboat was spoilt and we went to my hse to pick up my steamboat and then to the awaiting of the first sunrise of 2008 at changi beach.. felt tt everything was qt nice.. tho we haven been meeting up for a long time tgt.. but it was definitely a good interaction time with them ..(wonder how will this year's new year eve be like)

then it was the sch term... with the very super xiong yr 3 after a long period of relaxation during IA... felt tt i was qt fortunate to get closer with pple like ah huay aw and hanwei(amd of cos ms eclair).. those days when we went to nihon mura.. go for supper aft some muggings and the mind cafe aft shell visit was indeed memorable... tho i noe tt some of us have diff definition of frens.. some thinks tt frens are jus pple who crosses each other path at tt particular time while some thinks tt frens are companions for life... but i think i truly understand wat pple mean by the duration is not impt.. its the quality at tt time tt is the most essential... i'll nv forget this.. and i still find it qt funny tt i experience this kind of hall life.. when im in yr3... and not forgetting the times with hall peep... like wat i always say.. i'm really qt sorry tt i had to show u all the tired side of me.. or not being able to be so on... but still to joy and pj.. thx for not giving up on me by coming here frequently and disturb me tho im like always rushing for my assignments or lab report... also.. i had a very understanding roomie.. who listens to 933 when she does not speaks much mandarin while the more chinese me is listening to 98.7 instead... i guess being my roomie is seriously not a very good thing.. cos u will always feel tt u are slacking(cos im always doing my work).. and the most unforgettable thing is tt during the last day of exams.. i only slp at 5 in the morning.. and i had 2 papers in a row! whats still amusing to me is tt i manage to go for dinner with hall pple without feeling total seh...

then its the holidays... which was quite bad cos i fainted twice in 3 mths... first was aft sentosa trip while the other one was when i had a deep cut in my shin... its june 30th.. the day when i have my scar at my right shin... no matter how suey i am.. im always fortunate to have my besties ard me when im in all these trouble... thanks to tyy pj n peifang for accompanying me to the AnE dept.. i guess soon u all will be trained to deal with someone who faint so frequently like me.. oh and the teng teng part was really qt funny.. tho i was like semi conscious...

then to the happy part... went to bintan with kuan to celebrate our bdaes.. tho it may sound abit les and qt brave cos two girls are there only.. but i guess the urge to run away from city life beats any other worries tt can come into the picture.. indeed.. it was a good experience for us to spend quality time with each other(sounds abit wrong tho haha) and its a good chance to get a feel of how thiings can go so slowly actually.. tho the same 24hr per day.. but it feels like its a totally diff 24 hr... the scenaries were indeed very nice... esp the sunsets and the sunrise in the morning...and since we were there during some non peak period.. there were only 4 pple in tt keloong(tt includes us and an old couple)... we were treated as if we are some royalties... like when u wanna eat then u jus go to the eating pl the time u wan n pple then start cookin for u... it was qt sad tho tt the two nites tt we stayed are very cloudy... so my dream of seeing tons n tons of stars failed... n.. the accident prone me cut my hand.. it was bleeding profusely and i really felt super demoralised cos nothing seems to be happening the good way for me this year... but the lucky me still have kuan ard who tended my wound and cleaned up the mess for me.. the walls were splashed with my blood as if some murder has taken place and the wound was bleeding non stop for 1+ hr despite the fact tt i held it high and exert some pressure on it... at tt moment i really tot of jus going hm but luckily i din.. else i will regret everything...

then it was the bkk trip... seriously i nv tot tt i will go overseas twice in one vacation... tho its not some expensive grand trip.. but i felt really happy to be going to this.. it was really an impromptu trip... from cameron highland to KL then a sudden jump to bangkok... the pple are really good travel pals... the guys looking out for the gers while the gers are not draggy or too high maintenance(like hiaming this n tt).. it was good cos everyone put in effort in finding out the places tt are nice and really spend time to seek out the best hotels... i think i will nv forget abt this trip at least for the next 3-4 years.... n seriously i love the feeling of travelling because.. u can spend without thinking much(cos i always have in mind tt i may nv go to tt pl and so.. i mus not regret in anything).. u need not think abt work.. the time when u uses ur brain the most is when u are doin conversion from baht to sing dollar... ah.. i really enjoy those times....and... luckily... there's not accident on me when im in thailand! i was really scared tt i may spoil their mood if anything happen to me when we are there...

then.. back to reality.. the first sem of AY08/09 was qt boring i can say.. not very sure if its my perception of work has changed once again to allow me to be more serious or mayb everyone is too busy with their fyp... somehow i din really go out tt much in the sem... din even have a decent mj session with my kakis and worst is that i din go for any KTV! and the only time tt i went i think i was so off form tt i forgot wat to sing.. the usual emo expressive me when i sing seems to be gone.. not sure why oso...my term break was also delicated to fyp which was super duper sad... and so the sem flew past jus like tt... without me realising it and many thigns changes...

n... during examinations period... i fainted once again! this time it was due to gastric flu... it was really very irritating because when i wanna do something decent... i have weird things come out.. luckily i have understanding design grp mates.. cos seriously i think i contributed nothing for the last proj... sighz.. sorry frens...

so 2008.. a time when/with
intense changes i felt.. within me and around me...
couples breaking up(even those tt we thought are very lasting)while new couples getting tgt(while me staying constant in this area)..
i got to noe more pple while losing contact with some good old frens...
i start to see certain true colours of some pple which i can hardly forgive anymore...
i sacrificed many things for my fyp..
i cried at least twice during fyp cos i was feeling very helpless(somehow the tears jus went beyond my control)..
when my weight went increasingly out of control...
i realise my health is failing drastically..
i think i have finally accepted the fact tt i can no longer play competitive vball(have i?)...
vball is a total leisure sports to me...
an old fren is married(i hope she's very xing fu now.. tho.. i guess somethings have gone wrong one way or another and created misunderstandings time n time again... )..
i really felt tt everyone has moved on to some things or greater heights while im still staying stagnant struggling like a child...
i really gave up believing in meeting someone whom is fated to be the one( somehow i really think tt my fate will be very similar to my mom's.. guess those who are closer to me will understand)..
i look back.. i think i missed out certain details (i think im really too careless) and somethings might be too late now..
aft playing a game of vball.. my only wish is tt i can climb up the stairs as usual...
i start to avoid staircase and i only take the L1 of a double decker...
i realise im already a yr 4 and i will be in the working world in half a years time(it seems really like ydae when i was still in jc thinking abt wat course shd i go to.. ive nv tot tt i will end up in this field n i can like it)..
oil prices rise to 140 n drop to 40 per barrel within 6 mths...
the 2nd round of depression is here..
Beijing held Olympics(it was so funny.. thinkin back tt in 2001 when dhs went to beijing we signed the banner to congrat beijing for getting olympics... n.. back to 2004..how we followed the Olympics in greece and think how will we be like 4 years later)...
how pple lost faith in food n everyone became so consious abt they are taking in.. takin good note of the source of teh raw materials
i had more interactions with grandma.. having a good chance to talk to her while she stayed at my place
i think i lost confidence/interest in singing
discover my new interest for photography(tho the pictures tt i took is not zai la)
lost total confidence in how i look
beginning to wonder why do i like jay for such a long time
starting to feel the disappearance of stars of our time.. like david tao..
hearing pple saying tt mayday is no longer a hip thing(but i still love their songs!)
realise tt it was 5 years ago tt i was in jc..

ok.. think the reflections seem to be qt a sad one in overall... anw... our dear ah neo is featured in hey gorgeous! really happy for her.. hope she dun be too auntie.. and jiayou ger! i will vote for ya! heh... n update ur blog pls!

2008-12-08T13:38:00.031+08:00

went to southern ridges twice in three days.. i guess pple will say tt im mad.. but still.. one is a day walk while the other is twds the nite...

for the day walk.. i went with my mom... it was a friday and thus.. there were no buses provided up to mt faber... and so.. we went up through marang trails.. was very impressed by mom cos she manages to climb up without much resting.. my plan was to go from mt faber->henderson waves->forest walk-> hort park... this is a relatively good choice cos besides marang trail.. the others were mainly downhill.. and so its easier for mom to walk... so here goes the pictures

the marang trail was not very fantastic cos the trees were those that we've seen in our everyday life.. and it wasn't as long as what i've expected...

along the way towards mount faber.. it was then tt i realise how useful is the digital macro mode as compared to the macro mode.. hahaz

some photos taken with ma

loves the blue colour-butterfly flower totally..

a view from mount faber.. but somehow.. not very satisfying to me.. i guess its the daily view from the 37th floor that has desensitised me..

i love to see how the sunlight emerge through different objects

mom n i on the highest pt of mt faber

R:its not a leaf.. its a beetle..

after the

before we started and looking back

the curves are definitely very pretty.. but the sun was too hot for us to stay longer

then it was the forest walk.. feels as if u are really back to the nature.. do notice the pavement tt u are walking on.. u can see the plants below..

after the forest walk.. it is the hort park which of cos.. lots of photographs of the different lovely flowers are up

and of cos.. a few of my favourites

the super duper emo lonely chair... but i love the contrast between the red and grey.. oh! and this is a new function of my cam that I've found after 3 years

and so the trip to southern ridges ended off with my mom buying 2 pots of flowers hm... and of cos not forgetting the nice avocardo juice at alexandra food market! and hort park is jus abt 2 busstops away from queensway shopping centre.. so its qt accessible..

and so.. aft 2 days.. i embark on another trip to southern ridges with yiling n yaying.. since i did not wan to repeat everything again.. i requested to start from hort park n end at mt faber... it was really qt a nice experience esp the night views.... so here goes

heart

Green

i quite like this pic

and aft hort park.. it was the forest walk and the henderson waves

walking out of hort park

forest walk

a pity that my cam couldn't catch the sunset..

lovely waves

this is one of my top fav of the day.. guess where is it taken? is was actually the road below henderson waves..and a view peeping through the gaps between the wooden planks on the bridge

this is supposed to be landscape but not very sure why it is this way... but isn't it nice? din noe simple things like the grills can be so nice

i love yiling's cam when the night sceneries can be taken so nicely

lying on the waves and looking out at the skies.. accompanying us was just a star and an overcast sky.. but this is certainly an ideal spot for paktoring and catching up with frens!

an attempt to act emo... nice angle isn't it?

more of the waves

and nex its mt faber.. it was quite a quiet walk at night and so if anybody is keen on going.. it will be better if its not alone

i love the st lamps

st lamp at jewel box

nice christmas decor at jewel box

walking towards the peak of mt faber... isn't it romantic?

a night view from the peak of mt faber.. i surely loves yiling's cam!

the tower at night

and so.. the trip ended off at mt faber... wanted to take 409 down... BUT.. the bus uncle.. despite seeing us running desperately... drove off only when we were near the bus!! roar.. seriously duno what is his problem... the frequency of the bus is like 1 hr and so we decided to make our way down to vivo by foot... we were extremely tired when we reach vivo.. had dinner at lerk thai and went hm after tt... it was surely a nice trip and gathering in a new manner.. sometimes it gets really qt boring to shop sit at some restaurant in town to eat ... but of cos.. time musbe adequate ...

2008-12-07T23:23:00.008+08:00

Day 5( the emo day.. the day b4 sch reopens)

perhaps it was a mistake to choose going overseas just before school reopen.. you'll get ultra emo when u are back... so we did our last min shopping at platinum mall and here are some of the photos of the last day

lunch.. nice presentations of the drinks

FD 3505

before leaving on a jetplane

manage to see the sunset on the plane..somehow.. the sunrise started our journey n the sunset marks the end of our get-out-of-singapore plan...we've still got lesson at 0930 the next day... well done to all of us..also.. the sunset photos were really very nicely taken by aw and ang...
and so.. our escapism from singapore has ended the moment the plane landed... sighz.. seems like a dream afterall...

the trip was really a smooth and happy experience... since im not rich.. i guess this is my so call grad trip.. it is the last long holidays and nex time when we are out working.. unless u are unemployed u wun be haivng so much time for the travelling too... really thank the guys cos they've been doing all the recce n stuff.. they even went to get the 4L mineral water for us early in the morning... shopping wasn't wat they love and to think that they can walk with us patiently was really a very nice thing... this trip is really unforgettable for me.. somehow.. i think this combi wun go for overseas trip anymore.. not tt we fall out or anything but things does change.. but still.. thanks to the randoms that has given such happy moments during my uni life.. am real fortunate to get to know u guys here...

on a sidenote.. i've dreamt abt shopping at platinum mall twice already! hahahha..i guess i really din buy enough stuff!

and.. thailand has been in chaos these days.. really hope that peace and harmony be back soon..

2008-12-07T22:54:00.010+08:00

Day 4(our last full day in BKK)

the highlight of the trip is definitely chatuchak...everyone was telling us to go there cos there are lots n lots n lots of things to shop! we were there qt early(as early as the shops were not opened yet)... but towards 1-2.. the crowd began to build up and we were too tired to squeeze with so many pple... din finish the whole market.. there were really TOO MANY things to shop there! anyway.. saw this singaporean grp of youngsters using walkie talkie to communicate.. qt farnie tho... as if shooting some police show...
our hotel

of cos.. i wasn't aware that they took this.. was really too tired

clar

since that place was too big.. we took a pic of the map(cos we din know where to get the hardcopy)

the clock tower is the best place to meet when u are lost

totally like going for camp

pet shops at the back of chatuchak

went back to our hotel and after putting our stuff back.. we set off for MBK once again for some relaxx shopping.. had our last dinner at some shyabu shyabu stall.. had great laffs and great food there...and of cos.. we went for the thai massage... that was a very interesting experience man!

the guys treated us the diff kinds of beer too and we ended with some young games(those tt we used to play in secondary/jc chalet) like bluff and some violent rxn games...

ps. i'm not drunk.. just closing my eyes while talking

lesson: it is true that pple are true to what they say when they are tipsy.. so dun try to catch them during bluff(tt's what happens to our ah huay.. from bluff queen to this state overnite)

the guy's collection of their shopping

and of cos.. the guys drank the most n i suspect aw was kind of drunk n abit high.. hahhaa.. shd have videoed him while he was mumbling duno-wat

2008-12-07T22:25:00.006+08:00

Day 3

was all the shopping at platinum mall(i guess its a paradise for the gers but not for the guys).. it will definitely be good if i have one more day there to shop! hahah... always felt that i din buy enough from there... and at night we went to suan lum night market.. it was totally a different place as the ones that we've been to.. love their stage.. but since we were not very familiar with the places.. we've decided not to drink there in case anything bad happens... but it was really a nice place to chill out... anw.. almost got cheated by a taxi driver who pick us up at platinum mall wanted to cheat us to some other eating place(out to con us).. he claims that there was some riot at suan lum and it will not be open at 9?! he even passed me some newspaper(in thai) with picture of pple rioting... luckily clar had had research on this place.. n it shd not be opened at such a late timing... we requested to get off and he gave us a pissed off look.. 50 baht gone but still.. it was qt obviously he was cheating us.. when we were back at platinum mall.. he was back at that place.. looking for potential tourist who he can con... aft tt.. we went back to our hotel.. and obviously found out that whatever he told us was not the truth...

nice shot

the guys with their t-shirts

a view from the food court

A n W! i guess everyone is loving the root beer float

clar with the AnW bear

the very big beer

their nice n big stage

tired aft a day's shopping

2008-12-07T21:50:00.013+08:00

Day 2 (part 2)

not very sure why but the previous post does not allow me to upload any more photos... so.. after grandpalace.. we headed off for Siriraq hospital musuem.. it was something different from the usual BKK trip which everyone have in mind.. this place is actually a forensic musuem where they have real bodies of those who have passed away.. ok.. the thought of this has make my goosebumps appear again.. yea... one that i rem was a body of a dead baby who died of drowning.. yea.. beside these bodies/skulls.. they will have a description of how these pple passed away.. another scary one was a body which half of it is a human and half of it they make it to become the skeleton.. that person had a shot into his brain.. yes.. the bullet can be seen clearly... yea.. din take any fotos of these cos..somehow i was quite scared la.. cos that hospital was qt run down too.. but it was really qt diff.. u wun see any of these museums in singapore anyway..so if anyone is interested.. this is their website...oh n their nurses are still in those white uniforms! really fits the old way of describing them...bai yi tian shi... and they have dormitories for the nurses jus beside the hospital

after this...we went to chinatown for some nice dimsum and bird nest! the bird nest stalls were really alot alot and alot! omg.. the way they serve them is like normal soup?

interesting car plates.. hahha

along chinatown

on our way to chinatown

bustling chinatown

wandering abt b4 our dinner

scouting for the best place for bird nest

the night was still young and we therefore head to war memorial.. there were a couple of night markets but they were closing soon so we din have much time to buy stuff

discussing the size for our fren

Dunkin donuts seems to be everywhere asking me to buy them..

chk out ms er's auntie look

a diff ronald

on the streets

some of the random/unglam shots in our room

and yea.. this is a girl's room.. the guys totally condemn our untidiness

and of cos.. how can we miss out mahjong?! chk out the size of the tiles.. bought this mini size mj jus for this trip..

a night scenary outside our room.. isn't it nice? =)

2008-12-07T21:14:00.011+08:00

Day 2
i was afraid that the post of the whole trip might be too big in size.. thus i've decided to separate them.. so here goes... Day 2 was a trip to Grand palace plus some of the temples ard... and Siriraj hospital musuem(I guess many pple might be confused why I'm in some hospital there rite) and chinatown for some birds nest and same night markets..

the Grand Palace was really one of the trips that I've enjoyed the most in this trip.. many will only associate shopping with BKK.. but still... this place is a place which you should never miss when you are in BKK(you should go there at least once)... cos the buildings are really very nice inside!

my scarred shin thanks to the drain in marine parade

not very sure if you all can read this but not short and sleeveless shirts are allowed! but dun worry if u are in them cos they always have the long skirt for the bottoms..

at the entrance

some spycam taking us queuing for the skirt.. dun worry for those who think you have to pay.. its just a deposit.. and you'll get them back aft u return them the skirts

this is the long skirt that i was saying... somehow i really think the dresses are super nice.. but i guess u have to overlook the fact that they are worn by 1001 pple

the five of us..nice!notice their special trees!

happy!

nice archi

clar totally looked like a tourist

the three of us

more of us

if only we can understand what the paintings are telling us

tiles!nice tiles i mean

totally posing for a shot

one of the photos which i took and im super proud of it

2008-12-07T20:17:00.015+08:00

have been thinking whether I should still blog abt the trip to thailand since it was way before this sem.. and i guess i should so it will help me rem wat we did back last time.. so here goes... so.. on 30 July 2008.. the randoms embarked on our get-out-of-singapore plan! seriously this was really quite random cos there were totally no plannings during the sem...

day 0
so hanwei, clar, ah huay and i went to ton at the airport cos we din wanna spend so much on cab fare.. the fortunate aw is willing to spend on the cab and thus.. he came later...

staring at the boards could be quite entertaining when you have nothing to do

the unglam foto of clar

the night.. tho torturous but we still had fun... by identifying the different cities (and so.. since we are not very zai in the cities and stuff... we saw a super alien city called balikpapan..)..even competing who's paper plane can fly the furthest can take up some of the time...aft which we set off for T3 for our get-out-of-singapore-plan

our tiger

sunrise from the plane.. i love seeing sunrise n sunsets on planes.. the feeling is jus so diff when u are on land

aw, hw and clar

a view from the plane

me and ah huay

Day1
and after a very messy search of the cabs and everything.. we managed to get to our hotel at samran place quite smoothly... was a bit pissed off when they say I din make a payment.. but luckily they found my bookings...

aft settling down for a while.. we set off for MBK and some recce ard the place...din buy much stuff cos it was known that the things are more ex than chatuchak n other night markets..

clar n mr ang ..clar looks happy here

ang n aw

me n clar

ah huay n clar
went to this grill and chill for our dinner.. i can still rem that their onion rings are super nice!

i guess all of us look super happy... esp the one with the four of us... then we went walking ard...stopped by at this place where they had some world maps and paintings ard... that walk was really nice tho everyone is super tired due to the lack of slp..

somehow i love the bustling of the city life over there... even at 10+.. their shops and eating places were open! not like singapore where u hardly find lots of life besides the pubs...

some acting

one of the pics

a sweet one

the gers

the gers again.. as u all might have guessed.. the photographers were mainly aw n ang..

us trying to find our dear Balikpapan

tada! tts Balikpapan..found by our pretty ah huay!

so many photos! seriously if i were given more time i will really go through all of them..

on our way back to the hotel

the duapai doggy who occupied the whole staircase

the forever evil aw never fails to take some unglam foto of me

the boy's day 0 collection

2008-11-24T19:27:00.005+08:00

hey girl.. just saw your blog.. wanted to sms you but i guess that it will take abt 5 smses to reach you...so i guess i gonna type in here...

regarding your health... pls pls take care of yourself! I guess this year isn't a good year for all of us.. like me.. i just fainted three weeks ago again .. tt will strike a record of 2-3 times this year... you must not overtake my record ok! =) try to eat healthy and slp early k! i guess maybe we shd cut down our intake of sour stuff oso.. hahaz.. can't give any constructive reccomendation since i dun study medicine.. hope that maybe its just a sudden break down of the immune system due to our hectic lifestyle... and everything shall be fine from today onwards!

and regarding heh.. sighz.. din noe that i can't get to see him in his tank b4 he left this world...but dun be sad kuan.. i guess heh has passed away due to old age? you've done your best in helping him.. i guess he will appreciate it... n like what i always like to say.. everything happens for a reason.. you've got heh during one of u most darkest period of time.. and life does change for the better after this (tho with all the hassle but i guess u also enjoyed this process somehow)..so now.. with heh's departure.. perhaps other things will happen.. happier things and events... so hope tt you'll get over it soon... you should be glad that your paths have crossed(like what you've said).. and be happy that you've let heh experience a more exciting life.. at least i guess his life cycle is grow up in river-got caught-in the pond in bottle tree park- got caught- your house.. this is definitely better than staying in the river or perhaps ending up as a dish on some dinner table.. yeapz..

so jiayou kuan! things will get better after all these things... just like high and low tide.. the low tide will be right after the high and what reveals under are all the lovely seashells! cherish the good times, pick up and appreciate whatever nice seashells you can find! (aww..i hate my english and my weird analogy.. but you get what im trying to say right!).. good things will happen soon and stay cheerful! =)

2008-11-20T22:37:00.001+08:00

such an old song.. yet you don't feel sick of it....awww.. its the good old times again..

2008-11-19T22:18:00.002+08:00

Why is it so that everytime after I managed to overlook your competitiveness and all the lies given, I will always happen to find out more by chance. So are there more lies created that weren't even uncovered?

Why is it so that messages only come in only when you needed help in assignments and some technical stuff? And not when I was terribly sick or just fainted?

Why is it so that when I needed some help from you and there's not even a sincere reply?

Why is it so that after certain issues you began to explain yourselve with 101 stories? Is it just a pure sharing session or is a story(I do not know if they are true or not) with intent?

Sometimes I do wonder, do you see me as a friend or one of your competitors? Or am I a buddy or just an acquaintance?

I do not need my friends to tell me everything that they have done or going to do. But I do not see any point in making up lies to hide whatever you are doing. Is it competitiveness? Is it inconfidence? Or is it pure selfishness? No matter how, I'm sorry to say that I can no longer believe fully in each and single words that you say. I will no longer give in fully anymore. I guess this is similar like the boy who cried wolf. And I believe that it will take alot of time for me to overlook everything and give my trust to you fully as a friend. Perhaps things are better when academic stuffs are not involved. That is when you still look me up as a friend after graduation(cos I guess I will no longer be of use to you after that time).

2008-11-18T15:46:00.002+08:00

If you can never ever return your home after this visit, what are the things that you will take along with you given only 10 minutes?

Was watching news and one of the world's largest bank is going to cut down 50,000 jobs. It was so prestigious back in less than 3 years time. Things do change real fast, so fast that sometimes you can't really explain why.

Also, was talking to clar about how places being choked up by so much more pple now. I guess this is the transformation of Singapore towards a City like New York, Tokyo, Hong Kong. So we are the generation that gets to witness this change, fortunately and unfortunately. Even thinking back to 5 years ago, the place that we live then is much different now.

Oh wellz, quite a random post. Obviously its a slight escapade from revision.

Time left to the next paper: 17

Condition: CUIED

2008-11-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

safety: neverending readings
adv rxn: tons of formula
E n S: 0 mood to study
time left to the next paper: 36h
Current state: restless..perhaps i need some rope to tie me down

Please wish me good luck for this round's papers

2008-11-15T19:10:00.006+08:00

just as I thought that working and schling pple may have nothing to say anymore.. i guess im wrong... it feels nice to be nuaing ard with u peeps.. missing ah wei's action tho.. n lastly.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY~!! its the 9th bdae tt we are celebrating together.. =D

and mae baked this lovely cake for our dear joy! so sweet~~

2008-11-13T23:49:00.002+08:00

1 down and 4 more to go...
a bad start of the day.. for the first time in exams.. train broke down and had to take a cab down from commonwealth.. luckily got clar and ml.. else will be wasting money on cab fare.. the paper wasn't hard.. but oh wellz.. lots of careless mistakes.. guess i wun do well in this mod cos of the curve thingy...
sometimes its very irritating that someone tells you that he/she do not know everything and she anyhow do and yet she's got everything right.. someone who tells you tt she do not care abt small marks and yet asking ard their answers... why cant they just tell you how they feel.. what's the point of throwing all the smoke bombs like as if he/she do not care and yet they mind each and single points alot? I hate pple who lies actually..and I do not see any point in lying to me.. I'm not any good competitor.. and i do not care whether you've studied or not and whether you've got it right or wrong.. but i jus cannot stand pple not meaning what they say.. zzzzzz

2008-11-11T22:57:00.001+08:00

heres what I've got after clicking on ah wei's nick on my links page... now tell me why I can't enter... AH WEI I WANNA SPY ON YOU!!!!

2008-11-10T23:01:00.003+08:00

was mugging in sch and went to can 2 to have dinner with clar and yanni...and suddenly.. i've realised that oh wow.. i've been in this place for 3 years plus.. each and every corner were memories which I've nv tot that I will miss them now.. i guess i was really too tired and stressed then...

first was blk 4.. seems to be so quiet, clean n proper now.. tho i've been always busy with my assignments.. i do enjoy the times when liangs n peifang whine and sing out loud to the court.. how we sang 最长的电影 at our doors like those who are drunk.. the dinners and the steam boat.. i was secretly loving the CNY decors with all the ang pao lanterns and everything.. now.. looking from L1.. the whole level seem to be so plain and quiet.. things change fast.. it was less than a year since then...

then its the court.. the cat was lying in the middle of the court as usual.. but the pple were gone.. the canteen is filled with all the unfamilier and young faces.. tt's the pt of time when i realise.. oh im a yr 4 auntie already.. and i really miss those times when we share one big plate of fried rice and how i watch them fight for the char siew.. oh manz..

aft dinner.. took a walk with clar to the can a bustop instead of taking the bus at the can2 stop directly.. i really love the night walks in ntu.. so cool, breezy with all the fresh air... so many things have changed.. but i'm glad that i've made a good friend who managed to walk with me side by side for all these years... i miss those days when we jus sit at the adm side(there wasn't alot of pple then, now its so populated even its during the night time)... i really wonder with this busy schedule tt we have.. when will be the next time that we can sit there and chill...

looking back... in the midst of chionging assignments, projects and quizzes.. the things that we did were really memorable... i can't say that i am very involved in activities other than sch work.. but im happy that throughout my uni years i have done things other than academic stuff...

somehow..i guess i've changed.. and i've aged over the years... but still one thing that hasn't changed.. tt's my emoness.. oh wellz.. i think its probably due to the examination season... and this blog has survived for 4+ years! oh manz.. its really qt interesting at times to look back wat are the things that i was saying at tt time.. some things were really qt silly tho..

2008-10-25T15:17:00.006+08:00

mayday has new songs! tho I do not understand why there is no distribution in singapore or any news abt them... oh wells.. so here are some of my top fav

突然很想你。
词曲:阿信

最怕空气突然安静最怕朋友突然担心
最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛著不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
想念如果会有声音不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今终于让自己属于我自己
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己
突然好想你你会在哪里过得快乐或委屈
突然好想你突然锋利的回忆突然模糊的眼睛
我们像一首最美丽的歌曲变成两部悲伤的
为什么你带我走过最难忘的旅行
然后留下最痛的纪念品
我们那么甜那么美那么相信
那么疯那么热烈的曾经
为何我们还是要奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去
突然好想你你会在哪里过得快乐或委屈
突然好想你突然锋利的回忆突然模糊的眼睛
最怕空气突然安静最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛著不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决心自己过没有你
却又突然听到你的消息

a sad song... simple lyrics but somehow it describes the feelings inside so clearly.. my mistake to let mr aw noe this song.. hope that this does not worsen his situation!

生存以上生活以下
作词：五月天阿信作曲：五月天阿信

连刷牙也照著节奏
冲了马桶洗了脸上的疲惫泡沫
没有梦昨夜没有梦
镜子里的陌生人已经不再做梦
上课钟变成打卡钟
单行道般的人生流失在车阵中
进行曲规律的平庸
活的像是一句标语压韵而服从
午餐是随便还是都好还是
跟你一样的任何一种
奇怪呢很久以前我是很有
想法主见心跳很执著
伤心再也不吹风现在只害怕伤风
耽误了谁和谁的要求一天一天
看日升日落看月圆月缺
年复一年的经过看谁把我变成现在的我
怕潮起潮落怕患得患失
错了又错的疼痛终于我的生命只剩生存
活著只会呼吸吃饭喝水的生活
小时候只要看天空
枕著白云就觉得全世界都拥有
长大了拥有的更多
为何感觉到越来越匮乏越贫穷
那一年只追逐自由
现在只能追逐著涨不停的石油
是不是地壳又震动
要从家里震落才悔恨这样生活
生活的反面会是死去还是
这般生存不再有冲动
闭上眼就能感觉生命正在
一分一秒飞奔远离我
还不如一只昆虫至少能破茧展翅
飞像那被夺走的天空一天一天
看日升日落看月圆月缺年复一年的经过
看谁把我变成现在的我
怕潮起潮落怕患得患失错了又错的疼痛
终于我的生命只剩生存
活著只会呼吸吃饭喝水的生活
一年有三百六十五个日子
五十二万五千多分钟
一生有三十四亿五千六百
七十八万九千下脉搏
为爱而生之后生命要怎么挥霍
直到我化成烟的时候
一天一天
看日升日落看月圆月缺年复一年的经过
看谁把我变成现在的我
怕潮起潮落怕患得患失错了又错的疼痛
终于我的生命只剩生存
活著只会呼吸吃饭喝水的生活一天一天
看日升日落看月圆月缺年复一年的经过
曾经我也那么独一无二
怕潮起潮落怕患得患失错了又错的疼痛
终于我的生命只剩生存
活著只会呼吸吃饭喝水的生活
连刷牙也照著节奏
然后设定了明天六点半的闹钟

interesting depiction of our mundane lives..

如烟
作词：五月天石头/阿信
作曲：五月天石头/阿信

我坐在床前　望著窗外　回忆满天　
生命是华丽错觉　时间是贼　偷走一切
七岁的那一年　抓住那只蝉　以为能抓住夏天
十七岁的那年　吻过他的脸　就以为和他能永远　
有没有那么一种永远　永远不改变　
拥抱过的美丽都　再也不破碎
让险峻岁月不能在脸上撒野　
让生离和死别都遥远　有谁能听见
我坐在床前　转过头看　谁在沉睡　
那一张苍老的脸　好像是我　紧闭双眼
曾经是爱我的　和我深爱的　
都围绕在我身边
带不走的那些　遗憾和眷恋　
就化成最后一滴泪
有没有那么一滴眼泪　能洗掉后悔　
化成大雨降落在　回不去的街
再给我一次机会　将故事改写　
还欠了他一生的　一句抱歉
有没有那么一个世界　永远不天黑　
星星太阳万物都　听我的指挥
月亮不忙著圆缺　春天不走远　
树梢紧紧拥抱著树叶　有谁能听见
耳际　眼前　此生重演　
是我来自漆黑　而又回归漆黑
人间　瞬间　天地之间　
下次我　又是谁
有没有那么一朵玫瑰　永远不凋谢　
永远骄傲和完美　永远不妥协
为何人生最后会像一张纸屑　
还不如一片花瓣曾经鲜艳
有没有那么一张书签　停止那一天　
最单纯的笑脸和　最美那一年
书包里面装满了蛋糕和汽水　
双眼只有无猜和无邪　让我们无法无天
有没有那么一首诗篇　找不到句点　
青春永远定居在　我们的岁月
男孩和女孩都有吉他和舞鞋　
笑忘人间的苦痛　只有甜美
有没有那么一个明天　重头回一遍　
让我再次感受曾　挥霍的昨天
无论生存或生活　我都不浪费　
不让故事这么的后悔
有谁能听见　我不要告别
我坐在床前　看著指尖　已经如烟

an interesting view from a dying person.. of how he looks back his life and think abt how he felt.. love this part especially
'有没有那么一张书签　停止那一天　
最单纯的笑脸和　最美那一年
书包里面装满了蛋糕和汽水　
双眼只有无猜和无邪　让我们无法无天
有没有那么一首诗篇　找不到句点　
青春永远定居在　我们的岁月 '
I really hope that I can get such a 书签 to stop at the days when I was the happiest.. or when everyone is still ard.. live everyday the fullest.. love your life, the people around you and the things that you do.. so one day.. when you look back.. you have no regrets..

我心中尚未崩坏的地方
作词：五月天阿信作曲：五月天阿信

醒在陌生的地方镜头变成了刀枪
耳语也变成了真相
吉他告别了肩膀诗人弃守了边疆
我们活在巨大片厂
幸运的孩子爬上了殿堂
成果代价都要品尝
单纯的孩子是否变了样
跟著游戏规则学著成长
轰轰烈烈的排行沸沸扬扬的颁奖
跟著节奏我常迷惘
当人心变成市场当市场变成战场
战场埋葬多少理想
回想著理想微薄的希望
走著钢索我的刚强
伟大和伪装灰尘或辉煌
那是一线之隔或是一线曙光
每个孤独天亮我都一个人唱
默默的让著旋律和我心交响
就算会有一天没人与我合唱
至少在我的心中还有个尚未崩坏的地方
歌手追逐销售量记者追逐点击量
没有谁比谁更善良
无论天后或天王无论小兵或老将
曲终人散都要苍凉
期待著彩虹所以开了窗
窗外只有灼热闪光
所谓的彩虹不过就是光
只要心还透明就能折射希望
每个孤独天亮我都一个人唱
默默的让著旋律和我心交响
就算会有一天
没人与我合唱至少在我的心中
还有个尚未崩坏的地方
其实我们都一模一样
无名却充满了莫名渴望
一生等一次发光
宁愿重伤也不愿悲伤
让伤痕变成了我的徽章
刺在我心脏永远不忘
默默让著旋律和我心交响
至少在我的心中自己为自己鼓掌
每个孤独天亮我都一个人唱
默默的让著旋律和我心交响
就算会有一天没人与我合唱
至少在我的心中还有个尚未崩坏的地方
孩子一样不肯腐烂的土壤
再唱再唱再唱再唱再唱

love this phrase
'当人心变成市场当市场变成战场
战场埋葬多少理想'

后青春期的诗
作词：五月天阿信作曲：五月天阿信

当烟雾随晨光飘散枕畔的湖已风乾
期待已退化成等待而我告别了突然
当泪痕勾勒成遗憾回忆夸饰著伤感
逝水比喻时光荏苒
终于我们不再为了生命狂欢　为爱情狂乱
然而青春彼岸　盛夏正要一天一天一天的灿烂
(阿信口白∶然后呢一起走吧)
谁说不能让我　此生唯一自传　如同诗一般
无论多远未来　读来依然一字一句一篇都灿烂
让天空解释著蔚蓝　浮云定义著洁白
落花铺陈一片红色地毯　
迎接我们到未来　精彩未完的未
simple tune simple lyrics..love this song the moment i heard it...

and so.. mayday has not let me down... i really need these songs for some emotional support.. really wonder if they are going to distribute this in singapore...

2008-09-15T22:53:00.002+08:00

first was my knee
then its the fainting
then its the falling off the bicycle
then its the falling into the drain
then its cutting myself so deep that it bled continuously
then its the losing of my voice
then its the pulling(or is it tearing) of my calf muscle

I've had enough

2008-09-11T23:10:00.002+08:00

A saddening post. Why is it that the helpless do not get the same benefits as the big guys but when everything went wrong, they are the ones who suffer the most?

2008-09-06T01:43:00.002+08:00

Somebody asked, "have you regretted in not putting that much effort and that you got such grades and this will be one of the biggest obstacle you face because you know that the petroleum industry go through first filtering through grades?"

Although that somebody had said that I should not take it personally. But to me, you will not think such a way if you have never thought so. Perhaps you can say that I'm not open-minded enough, but I felt that this question is much pin-pointed at me.Either consciously or subconsciously, to me its the same.

It is true that I know that my results aren't good enough to go to certain industries that I like, but still I've never regretted what I've done. I've tried my best not to neglect my friends, my passion(though I admit that I'm not very good at it), my family. In each and every single assignment, I will tried my best to do, if that's not within my ability, I will ask for help. I try my best to understand whatever I learn, instead of doing it fast because I know there's no use in it. Throughout my university years, I've made good friends, learn things, either in dealing with people or learning how to pick up myself when I fall. I guess, I'm true to myself, my grades may not be as good as those who are really good at it, it may also be as good as those who actually leach on other people. But, whatever that is on the paper is a true reflection of what I've done,learnt and things that I will take home with me even after the exams. I'm glad that I've come to this course. Though there are people who are telling me they do not know why they are studying these, I know the things that I learn has a meaning.

Sometimes, there are just some people who judge others based on their grades. Eg. If you get good grades, you are clever, hardworking, have foresight,able to organise your life well. But have they thought, grades are not everything? At least to me, when I die, and when I look back in my life, the significant and happy moments should outweigh the moments that I study. I do not want to be the one that has eyes on my goal(perhaps having good grades) while neglecting the things that is worth appreciating along the way.

So I guess its really the difference in the way we see and deal with things. I've not regretted whatever I've done or chosen till this point of my life. Hence, please stop questioning my choices and stop implementing what you think on the others. Sometimes there is not only 1 way in doing certain things.

2008-08-17T13:30:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i last blogged again.. when you see that im back.. most likely im procrastinating over some work or something... yea.. its the FYP.. zzzzzz..life will definitely be more busy as the weeks goes on.. and time flies.. sch has started for 2 weeks already and we are back from bkk for 2 weeks already.. reallly enjoyed the times then.. wanted to post something abt bkk but i guess it will be too long and simply we've got too much fotos to post! hahaz..

been watching qt alot of olympics these days... which makes me gian to play competitive vball so much..joined the snrs tyy n joy for some vball ydae.. and i guess that the love i have for vball hasn't gone off yet.. tho im very very very much slower and have a very bad reading of the game.. i was qt glad tt the touch hasn't gone yet..and somehow i still hoped tt i will be fit for some competitive vball again..

2008-07-13T21:57:00.002+08:00

If I were to have the choice, I'll rather spend all the money that are used to buy the presents to buy time, I mean other people's time.

2008-07-09T23:58:00.001+08:00

i think i really miss competitive vball..

2008-07-06T00:17:00.013+08:00

ydae was kuan's big day!! her 22nd bdae.. initially we planned for southern ridges(tt was planned 2 weeks ago).. but... cos of the deep cut at my right shin.. i could not walk long distance... so once again my plan to SOUTHERN RIDGES IS CANCELED!(it was canceled tt time cos it rained heavily while i was with the randoms.. sadly).. then we had a sec plan(in order not to repeat watever boring stuff we have done).. n tt is prawning! haha.. tho none of us has gone prawning before n we totally have no idea how to use a prawining rod... hahhahaa....but still we embarked on our journey to the north....

had sakae in northpt and it rained HEAVILY! sobbed.. was qt sad abt it cos southern ridges was canceled tt time due to heavy rain.. n now when we are all set on goin somewhere diff.. it rained! roars... but still.. we din give up.. ended up shoopping at john little like aunties... (but wat else can we get at northpt?haha).. and so the rain stopped at ard 4.. luckily we din give up the hope too early...
we had no map n everything.. but still.. managed to find the place(its very easy cos its by the train line).. so the two kuku’s like us jus anyhow walk into the pl… first it was the restaurant then it’s the fishing place.. its 14.50 for 1 rod I think.. comes with the baits which I guess is chicken liver…. At first we don’t even know where’s the float n where’s the hook and where’s the line… hahhahaha.. and we don’t even know how to put the baits on the hook.. hahhaha.,.. but somehow we managed to figure them out…
and guess wat.. aft im done with kuan’s bait and in the midst of making mine, she exclaimed and there! Its her first victim.. the prawn. I guess everyone is stunned by the speed of how she caught the prawn…shes really one lucky girl.. hahaha… its really a very short while.. hahhaa…
and so we waited.. got this uncle who came n tot us some skills.. hahhaa.. which is not bad I guess.. mus learn from them… n we waited… waited.. jus when we tot tt it’s the end of our luck(or I can say kuan’s luck)… she came up with a bigger surprise! IT’S A LOBSTER! Hahahhaha I guess one of the uncles qt sian diao by us cos he waited for duno how long.. n within an hr.. a first timer like kuan managed to get the highlight of the day! Hahhahahaa.. all of us were stunned by it and of cos we duno how to handle it… hahha.. cos it really look ferocious.. hahha.. got the stall tender to help us with it… n we are still very stunned by the whole thing.. hahhaa.. n kuan decided to keep him(according to the person) as a pet! N.. to claim some credit.. both the bait for the prawn n HEH is done by me!!! Hohohoz.. those tt kuan put where taken away by the prawns or fishes.. hahhaa.. so tho its not my rod.. im still proud of it….
So aft the lobster.. we were both satisfied with the results and so.. we went for a walk at bottle tree park… its really a nice feeling.. a getaway from city and a preview into our bintan trip… nice sunset n everything.. hahha..the pictures shall tell everything… it was really fun n interestin ydae! Din noe we will have such pleasant surprises and everything cos we really tot tt we will end up with nothing… hhahaa…
Initially I tot tt I might not enjoy prawning.. bt I guess… the anticipation.. the waiting.. the pleasant surprises has proven me wrong… hee… if only its cheaper I will go often!

so here are the fotos!

the bike trail below the train line

on our way to bottle tree park!

at the entrance

tata! bottle tree park!

us waiting

kuan's first prawn

HEH!

kuan with wat she caught

me trying to claim some credit here.. n seriously i guess i shd watch my diet.. ROAR

kuan with her HEH

2008-06-23T22:57:00.002+08:00

Wishlist

auntie gang to meet for the whole day
to play competitive vball again
to do sports without knee pain
to be happier
to go to japan, hk aussie and europe
to slim down
to go pulau ubin

2008-06-19T23:03:00.001+08:00

sometimes its jus so hard to get everyone out for at least a day..think im giving up soon..

2008-06-19T00:21:00.002+08:00

ok.. kuan said tt wat i hoped is nt going to happen.. hahaha.. i din misinterpret the quote ok.. hahhaa.. wat i wan is diff from wat im doin now... obviously im doing wat other pple are doin now.. leading a normal life.... study then go out.. slp eat play.. hahhaa.. i guess.. the onli thing not to be the most pple described in the quote is to.. go to pluto! hahhaa.. oh crapz

2008-06-16T22:13:00.005+08:00

like wat i told a few pple.. my place has got nice scenery.. its esp so when its during sunset... so here it goes

of cos.. some of these photos are very unclear cos im using my old pok pok motorola fone to take it.. it will be much better if its EOS type of camera.. hahhaa....

and today went out to have lunch with one of the doc and of cos colleagues.. and suddenly.. she asked me if im interested in post grad studies... and then she started her story.. borned from msia... she wasn't rich and aft studying uni.. she jus wrote email to all the diff uni at diff places saying tt she wan to do post grad studies... and so.. without noeing much things... she accepted an offer from germany and started to do her post grad studies and it was then slowly she learnt German there and got to know her husband there... then she went to another European cty.. then now in singapore and shes still aiming to go to canada... and she ended off with... if u wanna do certain things.. jus go ahead and dun think too much abt it...

oh wellz.. i was really impressed by her braveness to get out of her comfort zone everytime wanting to try diff things... but somehow there are simply too many things that impedes me from doing many other things tt i wanted to... i wanted to do alot of things but i can't.. there is really no way for me to say i will leave now to seek for a better and colourful life... whenever i see the aged haggard back view of my pa going to work.. whenever i see the wrinkles on my mom's face.. sometimes i was jus so shocked that how time can make many things changes.. indeed.. they've aged alot for the past 10 years..too much n too fast for me to realise in the midst of rushing my assignment and reports and vball...im always scared that i might not be in time to repay wat i've owed them for the past 22 years... it is also one of my dreams to earn my money and drive them(my parents and grandma) to the places they wanted to go to...
ok.. i shall stop all these saddenning posts... anw..

miss liang liang n joy has msned me today from SPAIN! so happy to hear from them.. somehow i missed the times in hall when u all come n disturb me.. hahhaa..the whinings and the shoutings and the eat ice times... glad that u all are doin fine there! if u all are reading this post.. rem to kio some yandao spanish guy back to singapore ! hohoz....

and to end off.. today kuan told me abt this author called Oscar Wilde... there is this qt interesting quote by him:

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation

makes some sense to me... i hope im not that most pple.. tho i think my life is really kind of simple....

work tml again! sianzz.... this hols is really boring to me

2008-06-15T23:42:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i've updated.. and sometimes i do really see the difference in my style and the contents tt im talking abt over these years.. and this blog is abt 4 years old.. omg.. i wonder will i close it down one day cos i realise i've not been updating for a long time everytime..

and so..i guess this is the worst hols i ever had.. or maybe.. i had too much fun in the past.. that things feel jus weird when nothing more interesting than wat i did in the past happen..

this hols was oso not as happy as ever i guess... played zero vball.. or i can say.. spiked zero balls.. or had zero rallies... sometimes u jus feel so weird.. and although many says tt u can live without vball.. it takes time for my knee to heel.. but i guess by the time it heels.. i can nv spike the kind of ball i used to play... and ydae while refereeing a match in siloso.. there is this match in which two ex jj gers are playing with this grp of jap gers... this is jus some simple matches.. and one of them knee got problem while the other one sprained her leg... but.. despite all these.. they managed to finsh the set..and match.. and they even managed to go to the nex match without any break... its jus a small competition.. u can have it the nex year and yet they played it like the last game they will ever have.. the fightin spirit in them.. which is lacking in me makes me realise... why they are able to win one of the year's A division gers championship... even tho they may not be the best in skills.. its their mind tt is different from the others..

and soon.. mid june is approaching.. n some pple will be back soon... i guess things will get qt diff... actually i noe tt i enjoyed last sem is because of the disappearance of some pple... oh wellz.. how i hope things jus stayed like this.. i felt very fortunate tt i got to know new pple for the past 1 year... it was really one of my happiest moments tho.. and i guess.. this is also part of the reason why im not enjoying the hols..when u had too much fun in sch term.. when everything stops in hols n no new things are up.. it really shows the diff....

oh wellz.. hasn't been feeling qt happy these days... it seems like nothing good really happens to me.. or maybe the only better thing is tt i may have secured my fyp and my last sem's result i din get a C(which is not so terrific too)... n something which i need to sort out my mind.. kuan told me tt sometimes im jus too stubborn tt i tend to blaff myself.. like i noe abt something but i manage myself not to believe it everytime.. n then again... wat i can sense is really the truth.. then i will upset myself again.. so currently im still searchin for a way to settle it myself..

watch sex and the city last fri with ning and joel..felt tt it was qt nice..most probably is becos i din watch the drama.. cos kuan said tt the story went in qt a wrong direction as the drama... but wat touched me is the frenship between the four of them.. whcih makes me wonder.. will the type of frenship be true for me and my frens.. i duno if its the fact tt we have grown up n we have so many other things to do... its really harder to get everyone together or let everyone stay together for a longer time.. sometimes i really missed those times.. when we can jus rot.. eat talk.. spend the whole day doing nothing together... its really so impossible now... everyone jus ask.. 'meet.. for wat?do wat? how come this n tt.. im going to leave early.. maybe i can come..u all enjoy urself..' all these things.. im not angry abt this cos its really one's choice in these matters... but sometimes its jus qt disheartening.. to get everyone out is already a big problem.. and if we wanna get everyone out it has got to be like 1 year later.. i really missed the hols in jc.. i guess things will get worst when everyone having a full time job.. even goin out is a chore.. sighz...

n once again on a random note.. i'm defeated by the fact tt size and looks does matter in this world.. regardless of how i psycho myself tt it may not be true and there can be exceptions...

2008-05-13T13:51:00.002+08:00

I miss....

those days with uniform
those trainings which your aim is to win that medal
those PE lessons which u hope to skip 2.4
those competitions which u rooted for other pple and pple rooting for you
those days when we sat at the class benches
those days when im fit
those days when u tried 1001 ways to escape from sch with planned roots
those days when u worry abt nothing much except work competition n pple
those days when we jus rot in sch
those days when..
those days when..

the list can continue further n sometimes i jus wonder why do i have so much to write in the past but not now.. is it the things that i can do is jus repetitive of wat ive done last time, or is it that i've grown old.. but certain things u jus noe tt u cant go back.. all u can do is to look back.. tt's all..

2008-04-06T16:21:00.003+08:00

its been a long time since i last updated.. oh wellz.. this sem has been the toughest of all... with the weekly lab reports and 2 individual labs.. and all the assignments... we managed to strive thru it.. tho the exams are not over and there's still one more lab report left to be done.. somehow i felt tt part of the heavy load is off... despite the worry abt this sem's load--everyone warned tt this sem is real terrible... somehow i felt that im happier this sem as compared to the sem b4 i entered IA.. tho i've missed out alot of things because of this year's work load.. but somehow it felt better... i guess its the frens that are ard me that is making a difference... perhaps i've found more pple whom i am able to connect with.. its also funny how different cliques become a combination of random pple from the usual diff cliques...somehow..i hope tt this sem dun end.. hahhaa.. i do enjoy the suppers with the few pple that are staying ard me..these seesions were channels to help me destress from everything... and also.. the wonderful pple tt i noe in blk 4.. like no matter how tired u are.. when u see their bubbly faces u'll have a tendency to forget the stressors..

oh wellz.. the sem is going to end... and i really do not look forward for the nex sem to come.. i guess the chance of having these pple stayin ard me is almost impossible and i may not even be able to get a hall... joy n pj will have graduated and there's no more of releasing my stress in hall2 vball court.. oh wellz.. everything is so diff.. and new stressors will come back when everyone is back from IA.. i do wonder how will it be like aft they are back.. the new grps tt we formed now will we jus split again and go back to our own grp? or we'll stay with current settings? oh wellz.. no matter how.. things will be diff and im not very optimisstic abt tt..

k.. end of assignemnts and reports.. now gotta tuned in to exams mugging.. meanwhile.. i mus treasure wat i have now tho i guess we shd not have suppers at 2 when we got to wake up at 6+ the nex day.. not very wise tho.. haha..i really thank this sem and IA that allows me to noe more pple.. and i hope the friendships that we have created does not end with the end of this sem.. and meanwhile.. getting kind of confused with certain things.. oh wellz but i guess i got to block watever i feel for the nex of three weeks.. see u guys(if there's anyone still reading this blog) on 25 april.. i gonna close my door n mug for this coming three weeks..

2008-02-24T14:01:00.002+08:00

a night of unglam photos.. hahah.. enjoyed myself tho.. wahahaha..i love long chats man..

tt's the only foto that im allowed to post up i guess.. whahahaaz

2008-02-20T14:54:00.003+08:00

Things to be completed in this term break

-Lab report(grp but in formal way)
-Formal lab report(individual)
- catalyst report
- Refinery report
- Refinery essay
- Refinery presentation
- Modeling assingment(which includes a report as part of the question)
- mind over stress essay
- unit ops assignment

And besides that.. i have at least 2 project meetings and 1 quiz st after the term break...

So.. to average out.. I have to complete at least 1.3 of the tasks stated above per day..

And.. if im not wrong.. i used to spend 3 days on my lab/formal lab report...

Refinary essay is 2500 words.. which amts to half of my formal IA report which i took abt 1 month to draft, refine it...

Abt 2-3 days have been spent on 1 single assignment... eg.. unit ops or modeling

so its as if.. we are condensing... the work for a month or more to less than 1 week(i really wanna meet myfrens)...

so perhaps working 24 hours a day is not even enough... congrats to me..

2008-01-31T12:37:00.000+08:00

time is running out as tml is the due date for modeling assignmnt and also process quiz... and jus when im considering whetehr to pon catalyst mod..we could not continue to lab cos there's no water.. wat a weird and ridiculous thing that can happen during lab and it did happen... and so.. the lab was canceled! not becaus the equipment is spoiled but theres no water.. n it did not happen to only our apparatus.. it happen to the othr one too.. and so..this means that three cuied... and this means.. a gain of 5 hours for me to study watever i can for tml's quiz! i guess everything happens for a reason...

and on a side note.. rather disappointed with ia results.. sian! oh wellz.. i've done watever i can do so there's nothing tt i can argue abt...

2008-01-31T02:26:00.000+08:00

it was aft today's IH training tt i realise that i misses all these things badly...

the laughter.. the crapz.. the encouragement playing with u all... it was since a long long time tt i enjoy myself in the court doing random things like singing randomly at the net.. smiling foolishly at the net and condemned by you all...

and also.. the feeling of spiking a good ball... its been such a long time i tot i wun be able to have this chance anymore...

but all these comes with a price.. aching knees and sacrificed sleep and assignments and.. PROCESS CONTROL QUIZ!

still.. I LOVE U GUYS.. misses those times badly.. and this includes ah lim..wahaha

and on a random note.. why do guys always get blinded everytime?! roarz

2008-01-27T00:57:00.000+08:00

oh..went to millenia walk with ma.. and there's this goldfish exhibition... and tada! this is my fav out of the few..

i think they are really cute manz.. hahaha..and i think they give a very blur look.. hahaha..

2008-01-26T23:10:00.000+08:00

Things that I hate during sem

Sleep deprived
Late night discussions
Feeling stupid cos u can't contribute certain things until the pt when u feel u are leeching
Losing appetite n eat because u have to eat
Lack of KTV
Lack of vball
Thinking abt formulas, constants and qtns before u slp, aft u wake up, while u are walking, while u are surfing net
SMSing/Msning things regarding assignments, lab report, constants, meetings, formulas
Meeting up deadlines, and just when u handed up something, another deadline is up
Ur calender runs on the basis of deadlines instead of the usual Jan, Feb
Surprise quiz which attacks you on your most vulnerable moments, that is after u tried to hand in two assignments on tt day
Any other activities are possible BUT at the expense of ur slping hours
Instability of your com, you realise the importance of taskbar when one day it does not show ur windows, and hence, losing your window is possible
Tons of papers
Weird formulae making no sense to you at all and you have to accept them the moment that they are taught
Being unable to concentrate during lessons and the things that the prof is trying to say seem to be music to you, those without lyrics
You have so many things to do, yet you don't know how to start
After you have decided where to start, you get stuck and you start to go online, blasting your speakers, go facebook, msn, and lastly to your bed

And thanks to CBE for all these. Perhaps I'm too stupid that I am not fit to be in this course and I'm taking much more time to complete whatever I'm supposed to complete. I'm really feeling very tired after this week. And the worst is that you know these will not end until the holidays are here. Even CNY is not spared.

2008-01-05T18:09:00.000+08:00

2 days to sch start... ultimate sianess... saying hi to hall life and lots of assignments... aiming to procrastinate lesser.. eat lesser.. sleep lesser..spend lesser.. nua lesser.. working harder.. concentrate n focus harder... i can do it.. jus hope tt tis is not jus san fen zhong re du... yeah...

2008-01-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

a wonderful start of the year... aft emoing at cityhall starbucks, overnite ktv to celebrate the start of the new year.. we are determined to celebrate the coming of 2008 in a more special way...

and so...we did

first was jc's idea of renting a car! hahaa.. this has definitely made our celebration a special one cos we can go anywhere we like!!gheeeezzzz... so first.. its food buying at parkway......

and of cos with lots of cam whoring.. hahahha...and so... we head down to ning's place to start our cosy little steam boat to celebrate the arrival of 2008..

food preparation!

and tada! that's the food tt we have prepared!

butttttt..... when we were about to start our feast.... the steamboat could not be switched on! but!we will never give up on our happy plan for this new year.. and so.. jc n i went back to my hse to pick up my steam boat at hm... cars really make wonders.. oopss..so.. at..2330.. we started our feast...finally...

when the clock strikes 00 00..we went crazy(with ning's fuzzball..wahhaa).. haha.. perhaps a little tipsy on a combination of alcohol...

a little pillow fight by the four 21s

and so.. when you think that we are going to bed to sleep the night off and set back to hm the nex morning..

you are wrong!!! we really wanted a special new year and so.....

its new year celebration part 2!

we headed off to changi beach park

it was really a wonderful experience cos i've nv been to changi beach park before! hahaha... i love the cool seabreeze.. and the night scenary.. hee...

and so.. we started with our emo talk while waiting for the sun to rise...

but like wat've ive expected.. it turned out to be the brightening of the sky instead of the lovely sunrise tt we've expected.. but.. its nice enough tho!

aft the slight disappointment.. we set off for the place that we are the most familier with.... KALLANG MAC!

and so.. the start of 2008 was a memorable one.. i really love u guys for giving me this unforgetable experience... take care and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2007-12-28T12:54:00.000+08:00

oh wellz... as the year ends.. and im now so bored in the office.. shall update(like every year) on the significant things that i have done this year... oh wellz.. guess this might be a short post cos this year.. despite in me turning to 21.. i really felt tt nothing interestin has happened... interesting things are getting lesser n lesser n i guess.. in my 50s.. if my blog still survives.. i have totally nothin to update abt... oh wellz..enough of crapping... back to the main topic..

hmm.. the start of the sem was... boring,stressful i can sae... seriously i've got not much of memory of the things happen in the first half of the year.. perhaps its the unhappiness that we've met during disagreements in projects... tech comm was scary.. depite ple saying its onli 2 au.. i guess we spent alot more time on it... im really sian and have phobia on nite/overnite meetings.. it gets u so dried up.... yucks.. shall prevent overnite meetings....

n so.. the sem ended.. i got a new low in my results.. disgusted by them.. but oh wellz.. its celebrations cos i knew tt i wun be having anymore exams until the year 2008... which is like 1 year later.. hahaha.. i was so happy abt it...(to think tt now.. sch is backkkkkkk..sian!)

then its the linesman tingy for the swatch fivb world tour... it was really the happiest times in this year cos u get to see world class professional players right in front of u! how they play and attack each ball... the feeling of nervousness when they come over to u.. hahaha.. how to make decision fast...(sometimes u are really praying that u dun make a mistake.. else these players can be real fierce.. ).. it was really a fulfilling experience...

then.. to my health downfall again.. yucks.. its always this time of the year... i actually fainted in my hse.. i used to wonder how was the experience b4 a person really faints.. oh wellz.. now ive got the ans.. seriously i think.. its really unconscious.. cos i dun even noe i actually fainted.. hahhaa.. oh wellz..but wat i rem was..erm.. i feel like sleeping.. hahhaa.. perhaps i was really too tired then....

n.. wats worst... i tore my knee ligament... oh great... there goes vball...i was on my way to ivp again... tt period was really low cos even walking can be so scary.. like ur knee feel so weird.. that u can't seem to be able to balance urself... actually till now i still din dare to jump or run... cos it really takes time to heal... but i guess.. everything has got to come to an end.. so perhaps i shall move my motivvation to studies? yeah right.. as if i will do so....

then IA... hmm.. was great to noe bc ml and yw there.. that time was quite enjoyable... tho the work was quite boring in tt place.. but we managed to self entertain by having emails(emails come as fast as msn).. badminton... crapping... complaining and lots of other stuff... seriously i will cry in IA if they are not here.. so perhaps i was qt fortunate afterall? hahaz...

oh and camp... how can i forget this.... this year's fright night has really made me realising the meaning of satisfaction.... spent so many nights in sewing the ghost costumes.. and the paper doll costumes... din even slp on the nite b4 seniors camp... the whole setting was quite sad during seniors camp and we were scared tt our fright nite wasn't as frightening enough.... but the actual camp was really a success!!! i really love the actings by the actors.. i think everyone of them did a great great job and even the 'ghosts' that we arranged on the ways there are enough to scare them away... haha.. perhaps im a sadist.. but fright nite was such a success.. tt erm.. gers fainted n vomited in them... whoa.. but im not sure why are they tt scared.. cos.. its tt not jialat la... yupx.. so when last scene ended... i was really so so happy abt it! i nv langga nv cui..hahaha.. it was really an unforgettable night

oh wellz.. shall get back to work soon... may 2008 be a happy year and take care everyone(if anyone is reading this blog)!!

2007-12-28T08:37:00.000+08:00

saying bye to ..

waking up at 6 everyday
rushing to take the red line up to woodlands..
woolands bus
wo bao/today
morning sandwich
concussion on the woodlands bus
seeing ntu from the expressway
tapping in to work
coffee maker
news reading on yahoo/straits times interactive
blog reading on whoever's blog tt i can go to
breakfast on the table staring in the monitor or blank space out there
semi open eyes
70.xxxxx and 10.xxxxx
more coffee
more tea
more green tea
more biscuits
14,16
arena, monday yong tau foo uncle and wed zhi cha
CG2
CG1
yi zhi ren
badminton
photocopying machines
free binding service
400+ mp3s
margins/negos/ email/ rock bottom/ proposals/scope/ pricing/orders
jane june ding lina shwutyng and kelvin
woodlands/clementi/boonlay/choachu kang buses(tho ive not taken cck bus b4)
and lastly... 10 BENOI SECTOR

saying hi to
waking up at different times everyday
moving to hall
nuaing
staring to the lappie screen
mugging
rushing assignments
sadness to results
uni frens
steam boat
count downs
shopping
monday's depression every week when im goin back hall
can 2
can a
quad
n1.2
and everything tt lies ahead...
2008!

2007-12-27T11:07:00.000+08:00

somehow im hoping that i can ace my IA so i could pull up my GPA... pls let this happen.. cos too many bad things have happened already...

oh man... IA is endin in 1.5 days time! looking forwards for it and the activities following... ktv.. sentosa.. steamboat with uni frens.. countdown with ning n co.. going out... and before i realise it.. my schedule is full till nex thur.. n i actually cannot find time off for hall movin! gosh.. hope that i can squeeze time out for tt...

on a random note.... i miss vball... yucks.. i hate my kneee

2007-12-19T13:24:00.000+08:00

boredom... perhaps i can update on the pass movies that ive watched... 4 movies in two weeks... no joke...esp when i hadnt watch any movies for the past few months...

1st one was hero... jap movie by kimura-san... wonder if my expectations were too high for it that when i watch it i kind-of feel that its quite boring... oops... or maybe i was too tired from going out the pass few days... somehow i felt tt for a movie.. it lacks the climax moment.. cos in jus 2 hours whcih is short.. i felt that the climax part had to come in more distinctively... and so the whole movie jus happened like-that... almost fell asleep during some parts when he was having a monologue.... n he's not tt cute as last time i felt.. haha.. think lots of pple are going to say i dun appreciate the movie.. hahhaa...

then its the ENCHANTED! its really a nice movie... funny yet u wun have the lame /dots/where's the link? feeling... its not a fairytale.. and i think when kids see this they may not even understand the humour.. hhahaha... and i love all her clothes and the chipmunk! hahhahaa .. and all the singing in the garden n stuff... keeps me wide awake throughout the whole show.. haha!

The golden compass... nice... easy to understand( i feel)..nicole kidman is very very pretty( i love her eyes)!!! nice effect... interesting plot..interesting compass..but somehow i will still prefer lord of the rings...furthermore many pple were saying its production cost alot more than LOTR... so somehow i really expect alot of things better than tt.. at least till now... so lets hope that the nex two episodes(its a trilogy too rite?) will prove that im wrong...

and lastly.. lust.caution! hahaha.. my first R21 movie.... tony lueng has become older.. but his eyes are still so mi2 ren2! i love his acting.. the sadness.. angryness.. so real.. tho leehomm looks abit out of place in tt.. haha.. too modern and potato for tt era... hahaa... someone slanging at tt era.. haha... weird somehow... the settings are very nice too.. i love old shanghai too... maybe im borned in the wrong era somehow... there are pple who felt sad that despite wat the ger did for him, she was killed by him somehow... but i felt tony leung's plight is so much sadder than her... he has to sacrifice his love for the overall situation(cos if he dun kill her.. chances of her as a spy killing him or anybody from his work is higher) and the worst case is that he can't even show his sadness to anyone.. he still has to put on a front as if he's not close to her at all... and he has to live on with all this contradictions of life... unlike him.. she's got a better way out.. able to show pple how she really felt for him... n also.. she need not live with any ironies of life.. oh wellz..

so tt's the end of the 4 movies.. n my dept is still out for lunch not yet back! im feelin so so sleepyy...zzzz... and... im offered a place in hall... shd i or shd i not? im scared of the tiring work load... im lazy to wake up early n goin hm late.... stayng at hall can allow me to have dinners with frens.. catch up with them... n perhaps i will have more time to cope with my studies..... BUT! staying hall means.. moving EVERYTHING back again... eating dinners alone again.. washing clothes everyday... sleepless nights everyday... lappie becomes my best fren again... and.. my taiwan trip may be forsaken cos of the rental fees tt im paying.... sigh... i guess the pros and cons each balance up until the choice cannot be clearly defined... cui... guess i'll my mom decide.. haha...

n....IM BOREDDDDDDDDD

2007-12-19T08:57:00.000+08:00

its been... 2 mths! and i guess i've forgotten how to really blog on something le.. oh wellz... boring boring holidays... with pple ard me goin overseas while im enduring the boredom of the IA(i miss my IA pals! haha.. wanted to blog at them.. but somehow or rather can't finsh the posting).. bleah.. i chose tt anw.. i shall endure! for the sake of taiwan trip(hopefully) nex year!

met up with ning and co ydae at margaritas in faber drive.. haha.. im really impressed by how she can find all those interesting places for makaning.. i guess she can nv run out of places for feastin.. haha.. so here goes the pictures for margaritas.. btw.. its a mexican restaurant...

i guess all of us weren't very satisfied with the food..not fillling plus.. the "wow" factor is not there.. oh wellz.. i guess its the company tt matters! n the ambience is quite nice tho..... oh but the red wine+apple strips combination is quite nice tho! first time trying for my case cos im not the kind who goes drinking alot...

and so.. we've decided to head for island creamery(oh this name sounds so familier!) for some deserts... aft discussing and figuring out... its actually located at the place tt im most familier with.......serene centre! hahah.. no wonder it sounds so familier.. hhaa.. tho i dun look convincing to them at all when i told them i noe the way there.. hahaha.. the walk from coro to serene centre was a nice one tho... where old memories from hc came back... seriously i feel so so comfortable walking tt stretch of road.. its somewhere tt im so familier with...

and so... we reached serene centre... but....... the shop was closed!! er.. haha... i guess ken n joel felt the most conned.. cos bt timah is no where near their hse... and so.. we landed ourselves in the mac beside it....(hahaha.. its as if... clementi has no mac tt we've got to travel all the way from clementi to bt timah for mac)... had a small chat... and... they were closing too! sian!! tt was so anti climax.. hahhaa... iguess its jus not our day.. hahha...

yupx! so today is the last day of work before the 6-day break is here! xmas is here too... full schedule till 24th n 25th... got a feeling tt 24 n 25th is gonna be a quiet one for me cos pple ard me are attached! and i guess they shd leave their time for their loved ones! oh wellz... but the coming 6-day is definitely going to be a good break for me! ive not been talknig much during work.. gonna have zi bi zhen soon if this goes on.. but i really duno how to start a conversation... cuied....

and so.. shall end my entry now.. haha.. so abruptly.. cos i noe im going no where already

2007-10-16T09:53:00.000+08:00

sometimes u will just get disgusted by some competitive pple.. whom gets so engrossed on whether u learn more than her or progresses faster than her.. and when she did more... lies were made to cover for them... come on la.. not everyone is as competitive as u.. so even if u progress further jus admit it.. there's no need to make up lies for it... think i really can't stand pple who lie jus because they are scared tt others will catch up with them..but still..im sad for them.. imagine tt throughout the nex few decades.. u will be so engrossed abt whether other pple are better than u... u will be so busy comparing urself with the others and match up with those u think are useful to u... maybe u can get to where u have set urself to..maybe u have finally reach other pple's level.. but i guess throughout the process.. u'll lose certain things.. like urself n every other thing besides work.. oh wellz.. maybe they are not impt to u...

2007-10-15T11:07:00.000+08:00

boreddddd... wat a gloomy monday with nothing to do and of cos monday blues.. sianz.... life is so boring these days... everything seems to be repeating itself n ive got no mood to initiate any interaction with anyone.. think im living in my own shell again.. but sometimes the feeling of being alone is quite nice.. haha.. but the thing is tt after being with yourselve for too long.. u might jus be too lazy to do things like appearing online on ur msn.. or even when u are online u are too lazy to msg anyone.. oh wellz...

its been 1 mth since the last time i played vball.. oh wellz... too much of something isn't good... neither is it better if there's too little of something... 1mth ago was feeling so tired and sianz by the trainings and injuries... felt tt my body had no time to rest itself.. and that this adds on to the deprovement in my playing... and now.. everything has stopped.. my body got to rest.. and im glad tt i felt better for my knee(tho im pretty sure tt im not fit for any vigourous exercise yet)..able to walk faster now.. but i guess i can't rush certain things.. else the reverse might happen...

oh wellz.. ydae had a dream... i dreamt tt i was serving a jump serve.. it was the right touch.. the right timing.. and it was an ace.. woohoo.. that feeling is simply so nice.. to be able to jump without any reservations... however.. the dream did not continue with a second service.. i duno why.. oh wellz... i must be missing this feel..

sometimes its jus so weird that things can come all at the same time and leave all at the same time... b4 my injury.. was busy for trainings and goin out.. out of the 5 days.. none of them i took a woodlands bus back(woodland bus means that im goin hm)... everyone seem to be asking u out despite the busy schedule u have and everything seems to be a commitment to u... and now.. everyone simply disappeared with vball... im like going hm everyday... things are really not balancing up the correct way... sianzzzzzz...

n somebody initiated to msg on msn after 1 mth of escapism from me aft tt incident by not goin online too often or appearing offline..bad things seem to happen all at the same time then... i guess he must be thinking what has spurred me in telling him at tt time.. oh wellz.. i shall ans it now.. firstly its my leg n secondly i saw someone again which reminds me that i do not want history to happen again...oh wellz.. guess that he will nv noe these truth behind it...n so.. he decided to msg me again..(i guess its to check whether im stil living well aft wat had happened..to make himself feel better).. and so it goes with a hey from him.. and a heyz from me.. an awkward silence for roughly 5 min which is not very normal of him to stop at jus a hey... luckily its not in real time.. else.. kill me manz.. ahahha..

so i tried to be normal and asking wat i normally ask.. n after some time it seems fine... n i asked some dumb qtns again.. abt some gers.. oh wellz... he seems pretty sad again.. n im asking him to cheer up... faints.. why am i always doin these.. seriously i duno.. but it all seems fine as the conversation goes on.. oh man.. its jus so weird la... and so after sometime.. he went off... i guess he must be smiling to himself... cos he need not feel so guilty afterall.. on his road to be a better person.. ya rights....but stilll... all the best for him to tt ger la...

2007-10-09T21:45:00.000+08:00

miss vball.. tho its been 2 weeks only.. the spikings and shoutings can only be part of my memories..sighz.. i need more distractions other than sleeping...and of cos accumulated log book, JLPT 4 and 2 story books..

2007-09-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

so here goes villa bali